GetSheila

You can’t get there from here

It started as a simple visit to my sister’s place near Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. I got the idea to take a few days to drive from there up to Edmonton, Alberta, city of my birth. Hey, maybe mom would like to come along! It is always more fun to travel a deux.

Mom said yes and so began the logistical planning…and my swift descent into Travel Planning Hell.

1. International, my ass. I had thought to fly into Edmonton and drive one-way down to Coeur d’Alene. Too bad it turns out you cannot fly from Fresno Yosemite International Airport to Edmonton without changing planes someplace horrific, like San Francisco. In fact, you cannot fly anywhere outside the continental US from Fresno via a direct flight. Methinks Fresno is getting a tad big for its britches with the whole “International” moniker.
   
   Oh hey, it turns out anyone can call themselves “International” if they have the ability to handle international aviation traffic, regardless of whether they actually offer any international flights.
   
   From now on please address me as Ms. Sheila International Livingston. I have the ability to handle international travel. I simply choose not to exercise it very often.
    
2. No cars, sorry. Canadian vehicles spontaneously combust at the US border. Or something.
   
   I attempted to book a one-way rental car from Edmonton to Coeur d’Alene so we can drive through the gorgeous Jasper and Banff National Parks. This is impossible to do online so I called the Expedia customer service number and explained what I wanted to do. I told the woman I could drop the car off either at the Spokane airport or possibly Seattle, thinking Seattle is a bigger airport so maybe I would have better luck if I expanded my car-dropping options.
   
   I asked if there was some weird law that does not allow rental cars to cross the border if it a one-way trip. She took all of my information, did not answer my question, keyed in a bunch of things and…
   
   Told me exactly what the website told me: there is no way to rent a cars for a one-way trip from Edmonton to the US. I repeated my “weird law” question, in response to which she had no idea.
   
   Is it not logical for persons employed to assist travelers with their travel plans to know the border crossing rules? Should she not have known there is no way to rent a car for a one-way trip in the US from Canada even before she started to key things in?
   
   She did not offer any travel alternatives so, in the spirit of giving her the opportunity to provide me with some actual assistance, I asked for suggestions as to how to accomplish my goal of getting from Edmonton back to the US: she suggested I fly.
   
   When I reminded her I would be leaving Edmonton by car to drive through the National Parks, ending up two thirds of the way back to Idaho in the car, she said I should drive back to Edmonton and fly back to the US.
   
   Because that makes perfect sense. Hell, even I figured out after I hung up that, if I were going to fly, it is much closer to drive from Banff to the Calgary airport and fly back to the US from there rather than drive all the way back to Edmonton.
   
   Expedia.com customer service review: Grade F.
    
3. Only rich people can sleep in the National Parks. Anyone can drive through Banff and Jasper National Parks but there are no inexpensive motels for sleeping. The minimum price for a one night stay is $150. There are a few less expensive places that call themselves “rustic” but customer reviews note things like determined spiders and disappearing staff who do not answer the phone and cannot be found anywhere on the premises when a new problem arises.
   
   I will gladly pay more to stay in a nice place with a nice view with pleasant and attentive staff. Beside, when am I ever going to have the opportunity to see these fabulous Parks? I may as well do it in style. Not $500/night style like the Fairmont Banff Springs, but $150/night will be just fine thank you.
    
4. What to do once we get there? My 81 year old mom has a bum knee and cannot do a lot of walking. It is hard to plan outings not knowing what is there and what requires hiking to get to an appropriate place to view the Big Important Thing vs. what we can drive right up to. Thankfully my brother Gene has done the Parks and will email me ideas for outings that are not too strenuous. Whew!
    

Perhaps there is a reason I never take real vacations. I must have planned one in the past and subsequently blocked out the nightmare that is the planning phase.

Why is it that when I know EXACTLY what I want, it cannot be done that way? It happens with shopping, too. When I know exactly what I want, it is not available. In fact, they do not even make it any more. At least with travel I CAN actually get there from here, it just costs a million dollars and takes three times as long as it should.

_______________________________

Note to Mom: Do not think for one minute about cancelling the trip just because the planning is a pain in the ass. WE ARE GOING. Dust off your Barbie Boobs and get out the suitcase!

Technorati Tags: travel,expedia customer service sucks,us canada travel,banff national park,jasper national park,edmonton,karen,coeur d'alene

The Weekend Update

The new neighbors had no parties that I aware of this past weekend. Whew! Let us hope my luck holds.

I was up in the hills most of Saturday. It was a perfect weekend for it, too. Not too hot, not too windy or cold. We opted to go to the Mariposa Grove of giant Sequoias rather than all the way in to Yosemite Valley.

I was disappointed at first. “What! I don’t get to go see the Ahwahnee Hotel, where the rich people stay when they come to Yosemite?”

But it turned out to be quite enjoyable. Mariposa Grove was much closer to our meet-up location (a couple of miles vs. 45 minutes to the Valley) and the trees are just awe inspiring. See for yourself:

That is a big ass tree. We opted for the tram tour – at a whopping $25.50 per person! – but it was totally worth it because we were not all mobile enough for hiking. Plus we got to wear lovely headphones and a dangly radio-thing to hear the pre-recorded spiel.

I know it is blurry but it sooooo captures the tram ride. That is my compadre and coworker Micky, by the way, who gets me out of the house to Do Stuff, damn her.

As for missing the Ahwahnee, I got to see Tenaya Lodge instead. Fancy! Micky’s niece et al were staying there for a weekend CE conference.

I have a few more pictures of the day on my Flickr page, mostly trees. I do like the one of the downed Sequoia roots, the last pic in the slideshow.

And how was your weekend? Did you get out? Did you do something exercisey and/or fun?

 

Technorati Tags: neighbors,mariposa grove 2008,micky

Behold The Child of Doom

…and daddy.

I survived my adventure into The Great Outdoors just fine, but then barely escaped with my life from The Child of Doom, pictured above.

She appears innocent…sweet, even…but if you stare into her big blue eyes too long, YE SHALL PERISH.

More about the day’s adventures in another post. Until then, Child of Doom EXTREME CLOSEUP…

No! Don’t look into her eyes! Aw geez, you looked, didn’t you?

The Child of Doom strikes again.

 

Technorati Tags: child of doom,emma,don,mariposa grove 2008

Yosemitophobia-Fear of the Great Outdoors

I am going to Yosemite National Park today. I should be looking forward to the trip. Wouldn’t you? Fresh air. Mountains. Flora. Fauna. A lovely drive on a lovely day. People.

Gah! People! People I don’t know and might have to make eye contact with. People who may even speak to me, requiring me to speak back. Gah!

At the end of the day, I really do like people. I am energized by meeting them and conversing about things that would not have entered my mind that day much less come out of my mouth.

At the beginning of the day, however, it’s a whole other story. People have Free Will. Not unlike children, they can say or do anything, at any time, entirely without your say so. Unnerving.

But it will be good for me to get out. It might actually be f… fffff…ffffffffffffffff…

{deep breath}

…FUN.

But what next? The occasional movie? This could set a dangerous precedent. Pretty soon people will want me to hang out with them all the time, willy nilly, perhaps even without advance notice.

I should just stay home and do laundry today, as per usual. Except I promised my friend Micky I would go with her so she can meet up with her niece and ogle the new baby over lunch. Then it turned into an afternoon tour of the Valley floor on an open-air bus. By the time the day is over, I will have hiked to the top of El Capitan. Just watch.

(Damn. Where did I put the sunscreen?)

 

Technorati Tags: yosemite

The Beach House

What better way to spend a family vacation than at the beach?

My brother rented a fabulous house in Santa Cruz and me, Gene, Sibylle, Daniel and Kris spent a few days doing a whole lotta nothing. Now before you ask, no, Mom did not want to go. When you reach a certain age, which is apparently somewhere before 80, there comes a time when you just don't care much for packing, sleeping in a unfamiliar bed, and walking on the beach. As for the latter, first you have to walk from the house TO the beach (about a block), then you have to navigate the stairs DOWN to the beach (which were partially buried in sand, bringing to mind the Statue of Liberty in "Planet of the Apes"), and finally you have to WALK ON THE SHIFTING SAND and maybe even GET WET. Euw. Then you get to do it all over again backwards.

The only thing that got me through was the promise of alcohol when we got back to the beach house, and I am substantially less than 80.

Here are a few snaps. This time I used PictoBrowser to show them. You can advance to the next photo by clicking on the current big photo. You can also jump around using the thumbnails that show up when you hover your mouse over the bottom of the frame. 

Of course Daniel has more pics, as I noted in yesterday's post.

Hm, it seems to be chopping people off. To see it in all its glory on Flickr, click here.

Weekend Getaway...well, sorta

I am taking the Entire. Weekend. Off.

I am traveling to Sacra-tomato to visit with a friend and, well, do her taxes. And her mother's. Because heaven forbid I go anywhere for pure pleasure. No, I must have a project. It is the only way to get me out of the house.

So no posting from me until Monday night. Even if I have the opportunity to post, I do not think I will. Any free time I have will be devoted to lying around chatting, sipping on a cocktail, or shopping at IKEA.

Speaking of traveling, it recently dawned on me that I am the traveling friend. Or at least I used to be. You know the one I am talking about. The friend or relative who comes to visit you but you do not reciprocate and go to visit him or her. Perhaps because it is easier for the childless to pick up and travel. Or perhaps it is because I have friends in bustling cities so I always seem to be passing through or ruthlessly using them for free room and board. Meanwhile, I live in podunkville so they would have to specifically want to see me otherwise why in god's name would they come here?

Or maybe everyone in the world really is allergic to cats so it is nothing personal.

Have a lovely weekend. If you do not hear from me by Tuesday, look for my dehydrated body at IKEA Sacramento. Start in furniture.

Tags: tax season follies, travel

To Cruise or Not to Cruise

I have the opportunity to go on a 4-day cruise to Mexico in July with a group of friends.

I have never been on a cruise but I have always thought it would be great fun.

So why does the idea of packing and traveling fill me with dread? Why, when given a choice between going out or staying in, I always choose home? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I should go on the cruise. Deposits are due Wednesday, which means I have to make a decision in the next 36 hours.

Help me.

Tags: cruise, decision coma, travel

Road Rageishness

Dear Lead Car: Why do you refuse to move over to the (completely vacant) slow lane when faster cars approach from behind, forcing them to use the slow lane to pass you? And when you pass cars in the slower lane, why do you match their speed, effectively blocking anyone from going faster than the two of you?

Dear Car That Is Up My Ass: Can you not see there are three cars and an SUV in front of me and we are all waiting for the semi-truck to move over to the slow lane? Can you not see there is no room for me to move over into the slow lane so you can pass me? And even if I did, that you would still be three cars and one SUV behind a semi-truck that has matched speed with his fellow semi-truck in the slow lane and is laughing at our helplessness back here? PUT DOWN YOUR CELL PHONE I AM TALKING TO YOU.

Technorati Tags: commute, road rage, people are stupid

It Wasn't the Coffee!

I am sitting at my computer in my hotel room and experiencing what feels like an earthquake. Or someone jackhammering the street.

Sound familiar? Uh-huh. I am right next to the hotel's laundry room. It is the vibration from the washing machines!

I am so sorry, coffee. My bad.

Technorati Tags: coffee, medium set visit, travel

Whoever Said Tea Has Just As Much Caffeine As Coffee Is A Big Fat Liar

I meant to pack my own tea, I really did. I arrived last night to discover, no, in fact I did not pack the tea. But what's that over there? It's an in-room coffee pot! Surely they will have a few tea bags along with the coffee packets.

Au contraire, mon frere. I tell myself coffee does not have more caffeine than tea. I tell myself this because I am sure I have read it somewhere. I tell myself this because, although it is only 7:00pm and I am pretty sure I passed a grocery store on the way in, I am in an unfamiliar city and it is dark out and I am scared. Or lazy. Take your pick.

I decide I will branch out from my usual routine and have coffee in the morning. How bad can it be? People drink coffee every day. Besides, I picked up a milk at the McDonalds drive-thru on the way down (you know, to have with my tea...my tea that I did not bring) so I can drip a little coffee into my morning milk and it will Be. Just. Fine.

But it wasn't just fine. Within the hour I was buzzing like a chain saw. Holy crap! I can't meet celebrities and producers and fellow journalists like this. Food. That's what I need. An early dinner combined with no breakfast plus a cup of coffee leads to bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I knew I should have used the decaf packet.

One trip to El Pollo Loco later and I am feeling much better. It was touch and go there for a while, though. When I sat down to eat my lunch, honest to god I thought we were having an earthquake. Or they were jackhammering the street. I wasn't shaking outwardly so much as my insides were quivering. It is the strangest sensation I have ever experienced.

How you people drink coffee every day is beyond me. And multiple cups of it! You must really get a lot done during the day.

Technorati Tags: medium set visit, coffee, travel