GetSheila

I seem to have misplaced October. Can you help me look?

First we had a party in Idaho:

My sister Karen turned 50 on October 2nd and everyone had a good time celebrating. We even blind-folded her and made her hit a piñata with a stick. Great fun for the rest of us, not so much for Karen but she played along. Notice how healthy and happy mom looks in that last photo…

…in comparison to this one:

The very next day, mom ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone. When in distress, Livingston Women crack jokes and try to make everyone laugh, as evidenced by the expressions on my sisters’ faces. The hospital staff wasn’t quite sure what to make of us.

My sister Kate and I headed home as schedule on Monday while mom stayed until Friday the 8th to await the return of the Master Blaster machine, which only comes to town every 2 weeks to pulverize kidney stones. That would have been fine if not for two things:

1. Mom got an infection and ended up back in the hospital on the 7th for 8 days:
   • The Good: she did not die, which frankly was a possibility for a while there;
   • The Bad: she had to wait another two weeks up in Idaho for the Master Blaster to come back to town on the 22nd as well as to recover enough to undergo the procedure and recover FROM the procedure afterwards.
2. While on leave to take care of mom, Karen ended up in the hospital on the 20th with diverticulitis.

Karen has a high threshold for pain, never complains, gets up at 5:00 every morning, bakes from scratch, works as a mailman in an area covered in snow for half the year, tends to pigs and horses and chickens every day, and never asks for help with anything. When she asked me to come back up to take care of mom and help her out when she, herself, got to return home, well…I may have panicked just a teensy little bit. I was on a plane the next morning, the 21st.

With her fast snap-back and unwillingness to sit still, Karen only had to spend 2 nights at the hospital and was released Friday morning, I suspect because the nurses got tired of her pestering them to let her go home. Mouse over the pictures to see captions.

 

 

Karen was already out of bed and dressed by the time I got there, impatiently waiting for the final release paperwork, so I missed out on a shot of her in bed in the lovely gown you see balled up on the pillow. Dangit. She wanted me to be sure to get all the Borg equipment in the shot. Poke. Prod. Trickle. Beep. Here, have some jello.

Mom came through the Master Blaster procedure swimmingly and I brought her home around 6:30 that night. Since then, she has had neither pain nor nausea. She grew noticeably stronger each day and we knew she was really on the road to recovery when she went down the stairs with only one hand on the banister and started to give bossy advice about how to perform mundane household tasks. Before that, she just sat around letting us wait on her and thanking us for being so nice to her. (!!!) Cranky, bossy, and complaining = on the mend.

Here she is sitting on my new sofa back in California on the 29th, continuing her daily allotment of NCIS:

She stayed with me the first night back but I let her spend the night ALL ALONE in her own home Friday night and she was still alive and well when I stopped by on Saturday to install a new dual fixed / handheld shower head.

She can now use the handheld to get into all the nooks and crannies and ladyparts and not have to do gymnastics to get totally clean. I got her a shower bench, as well, but her existing shower is so tiny I don’t know if she’ll ever use it. At least it’s there if she’s ever too pooped to stand up and take a shower. Also good for sitting and washing feet.

We’ll see how the new setup works out. I must say I was a little surprised to open the package and discover the shiny “chrome” was really shiny plastic. Quelle disappointment. Also, the “pause” button on the handheld does not stop the water completely. It still trickles out a bit. Not a big deal but I expected it to completely stop the flow of water like the control on a lawn hose.

So now it appears to be October 31st. If you come across the rest of October, please FedEx it to me ASAP. Oops, I mean send it via US Postal Service to keep them in business so my sister can keep her government mailman job.

Oh, and Happy Halloween. I guess this means I have to get clean and dressed and do something with my hair before short-statured panhandlers arrive at my door begging for candy this evening. Or not. Might be scarier if I answered the door like this.

 

Technorati Tags: mom,karen,diverticulitis,kidney stones,master blaster,family health,idaho,birthdays

The Good, the Bad, and the Annoying

It has been quite the whirlwind around here. Not actually “here” but rather in my general vicinity, wherever I happen to be in the country at the time.

THE GOOD

I went to Idaho over the weekend for my sister Karen’s 50th birthday party. It was a surprise, hence my not mentioning it before this, and I can’t believe I kept the secret. How unlike me.

It was great fun! Karen was completely surprised by not only me, my mom, and my sister Kathryn being there from California but also her college friend from California, her local BFF, all of her husband Dave’s girls and their families, and her Oregon BFF, with whom she goes on week long trail rides in the middle of nowhere. (I’d worry but she carries a gun. Such a rebel.)

Before I say anything further I want you to know that everyone is fine. But boy howdy, things come in threes.

THE BAD

Meet Jessie, Karen’s new border collie, who ran around with a big green bow around her neck most of the day. Karen’s Oregon BFF, Flora, has been training Jessie along with her pack of five other border collies, which she brought with her, so everyone was having a good time throwing the frisbee and watching the dogs perform aerial gymnastics until…

…one of the fully grown dogs landed on Jessie and broke her leg.

The sound of a puppy yelping in pain is HEARTBREAKING. Not to worry, though. Flora took her to an all-night vet for pain meds, then took her back to Oregon, home of the best doggie orthopedists in the country, apparently. Jessie had surgery Monday and came through swimmingly. The doc said he has seen this injury before and it did not affect the dog later in life whatsoever. Karen will pick her up in a few weeks.

Tragedy number one: check.

Then a kidney stone that has apparently been hanging around inside my 82 year old mom for quite some time decided to go walkabout. She was in AGONY. She has a pretty low threshold for pain as it is so, LET THE VOMITING COMMENCE.

It wasn’t pretty, though I have to say the two EMT’s who came to the house were, as were her nurse and her doctor. And by “pretty” I mean 1) young and hunky, the both of them, 2) older, rugged and hunky, and 3) fit and geeky just the way I like them, respectively. And everyone was so NICE. It was a refreshing change from California. Not that people are rude here but everything is relative, I suppose. While in Athol / Coeur d’Alene, I noticed how nice people are, making me realize California people are…not so much.

They drugged mom up in the ER, rehydrated her, and sent her home to Karen’s. Kathryn and I flew back to California the next day while mom stayed behind to see the urologist, who discovered she has not one but THREE kidney stones, all of rather large proportions. The Master Blaster kidney stone pulverizer comes to town every two weeks and will be there Friday so mom is scheduled to have the two in her kidney smashed to smithereens.

The one that went walkabout will have to be removed another way which, frankly, sounds a lot like that scene in Total Recall where Arnold Schwarzenegger has to jam a self-guiding bug removal mechanism up his nose until he hears a crunch, then pull something large out through his tiny nostril opening. (Thank you I-Mockery for the awesome GIF.)

Mom was fine the rest of Monday, all of Tuesday, and half of Wednesday, but the pain came back and the meds weren’t staying down so she is enjoying the hospitality at lovely Kootenai Health spa where the enemas are cleansing and the nurses are often male and hunky.

Tragedy number two: check.

THE ANNOYING

And since everything comes in threes, wouldn’t you know it our flight home from Spokane was delayed 30 minutes, just long enough that we would miss our connection in Portland so they wouldn’t let us on the plane. The ticketing agent said they would generously “accommodate” us by putting us on a flight to Seattle instead – which leaves 2 hours later – where we would then sit around for 3 1/2 more hours waiting for our connection to Fresno, thereby getting us home at 11:00pm.

Excuse me: getting us to Fresno at 11:00pm, getting Kathryn home around midnight and me home at 1:00am. No thank you.

The ticket agent said that was our only option unless we wanted to come back and “try again” the next day, which didn’t make me very hopeful about our chances. At that point, Kathryn noticed a wall sign touting “Now with non-stop flights to San Jose and Sacramento!” so we asked to fly to San Jose, where we would rent a car to Fresno and get home at a decent hour. After much conferencing between ticket agents and double secret meetings with management in the back room, they granted our request. The rental car was on our dime, of course. So much for Horizon Air being “accommodating.”

Amusingly, there isn’t really a non-stop flight to Sacramento. Well there is, but only one flight a day early in the morning and not on Sundays. There is another one that looks like it’s non-stop, but they actually go to San Jose first, slow down on the runway and throw people out the emergency door, then continue on to Sacramento. Then they do it in reverse at the end of the day. It’s all very convoluted and weird.

The good news is the flight was only half full so we got to play musical chairs and each have a whole row all to ourselves! That would have meant more had we not been on a prop plane with only 2 seats each side of the aisle but it’s better than getting stuck next to a stranger who farts while you are forced to just sit there and breathe it in.

Did you know pilots have to earn so many hours in prop planes before they graduate to the bigger jets, hence prop plane pilots have less experience than larger jet pilots?

I tried not to think about that during takeoff and landing but it was really hard.

So glad to be home.

 

Technorati Tags: birthdays,karen,idaho,mom,hospital,kidney stones

Mid-West Vacay

I miss my furry little boogers. I am in South Bend visiting my brother and sister-in-law and having a grand time.

Mom is with me and sis Karen arrives on Wednesday. I forgot how nice it is to just hang out with family. We need to do this more often.

I keep asking for projects to do so I don’t feel so useless. Karen: I have started a list. :)

 

Technorati Tags: vacation,gene,south bend,notre dame

10 Things I Discovered This Weekend

1. Arnold (the town) and Big Trees (the State park) are a mere two hour drive from Merced, even though Google Maps says it will take three.
    
2. I can hike for four and a half hours without incident, aside from the occasional burning sensation in my hips and having to replace conversation with laboring-to-suck-in-air during hill ascension.
    
3. “Without incident” would almost be funny on Day Two as my shin and calf muscles scream at me, if not for the recollection that Day Three is usually worse.
    
4. There is such a thing as frozen meatballs you simply nuke in the microwave then plop on to your spaghetti. And they even taste good. Eureka!
    
5. Thanks to my friend Astrid and her Cranium Hoopla “Soundstage” clue (think: Charades,) I will never be able to watch a Pillsbury Doughboy commercial with a straight face again.
    
6. Some vacation rentals require you to bring not only your own towels (!!) but your own bed linens, too. WTF? Then you find a mysterious, locked closet you just know contains towels, bed linens, and dry goods.
    
7. I am not very quiet when I find myself wide awake and bored while other people are trying to nap before dinner after a hard day of hiking. I should have brought better reading material.
    
8. Two identical plastic laundry baskets are better than one plastic one and one wicker one that snags clothing and sheds twigs. Why I did not buy a second plastic one years ago is beyond me. Must be vestiges of growing up in a house where two of anything you had to pay cold, hard cash for was an unnecessary luxury.
    
9. The cats will not wither away and die if I leave them alone for two nights in a row, as long as I fill their food and water bowls to overflowing and leave the toilet lids up, just in case.
    
10. Laundry still does not wash itself while I am away. Dammit.
     

 

Technorati Tags: 10 things

Day Range Chickens

My sister lets her chickens out of the coop to roam free during the day. Does that make them day-range chickens?

Yes. Yes, I believe it does.

Here are the chicken motels, where the nights are filled with debauchery and the mornings with freshly laid eggs.

The picture is a bit fuzzy because I blew this section up from a larger photo but you get the idea. The arched structure in the back is a stationary chicken coop while the blue one in front that looks like an Okie race car is a mobile coop you can drag around the pasture at will.

It is made of chicken wire (yes, chicken wire really is made for chickens – go figure) with blue tarp to provide shade. The mobile coop is propped up on a cinder block at the far end so the chickens can roam in and out. The near end is double-decker to allow a roosting area. Tip: If a chicken has the opportunity to be higher than it is right now, it will take it.

Unless there is a patch of freshly turned earth nearby, or perhaps a freshly turned compost pile. In that case, the chicken will scratch around furiously, sending dirt flying in all directions, shake its wings about, then settle down in the cool stuff and make satisfied noises.

The first evening at my sister’s, she said she had to go out and shut the chickens in for the night. I went out to help her with visions of herding clucking, panicked chickens into a tiny coop. No worries, though. Apparently, chickens really do come home to roost at dusk. They were all in the coop, up on the cross bars, ready for sleepy time. A few fell off when we knocked the cinder block away and the coop crashed closed, but there wasn’t much clucking in disapproval. They seem be used to it.

If not for the coyotes that roam at night, these would be true free-range chickens. Sis shuts them in at night for their safety. They seem quite happy and produce lovely eggs and the occasional chick. All in all, a Utopian existence.

Except for the part where they will all eventually be eaten. But try not to think about that, okay?

 

_____________________

Bonus photos: me running a tractor. Fun!

 

 

Technorati Tags: karen,coeur d'alene,tractor,chickens

Vacay Photos

The latest vacation photos at Flickr:

Canada Trip: If you followed the link I posed before, you have likely seen all of these photos already.

Seattle: Missing a shot of our old house (coming soon from mom’s camera) but does show the other lovely houses in the old neighborhood. Our old house? Not so lovely. In fact, downright dumpy. I will gleefully post the photo soon.

Coeur d'Alene: Okay, really mostly Athol where my sister lives, but whatever. Close enough. This set includes me operating a tractor. A TRACTOR.

Before and After of some organizing we did at my sister Karen’s house. Some “befores” are missing as are some “afters.” I will get them uploaded once I get them off my mom’s camera. I think. Or you may just have to use your imagination.

 

Technorati Tags: photos,canada trip,karen,seattle,coeur d'alene

Ahh…Solitude

My vacation was lovely: mountains, memories, old friends, and time spent with family.

After all that, it is nice to be home with nothing to do but laundry as I sit with a bottomless cup of tea and finish the Jonathan Kellerman I started on the plane.

After arriving home at midnight-thirty, I spent the night with two furry, purring lumps placed strategically about my body. Bliss.

I’ll get the final pictures up soon and post a link.

It is good to be home.

 

Technorati Tags: vacation,canada trip,travel

10 quotes from this vacation

1. “Come on in and take your boobs off,” I said to mom as we entered our first hotel room. She had a double mastectomy and now wears “Barbie Boobs,” which come conveniently pre-loaded in a special bra;
2. “I think I have Tia Carrera confused with Angelina Jolie,” said Mom, who has clearly not seen many Angelina Jolie movies.
3. “No thank you, ma’am, the gratuity is included in the valet fee,” the $25 valet fee (!!) at Banff Springs Hotel;
4. “No, our money does not come from the game Monopoly,” as printed on an “I am Canadian” T-shirt. For those who have not seen Canadian paper money, it is brightly colored and looks totally bogus, no matter what that T-shirt says;
5. “Please do not put the wildlife in your pocket,” said the Jasper Tramway tour guide. 
6. “Mind the chipmunk,” which came up to our feet at the Banff Gondola summit;
7. “Is that woman hitchhiking with a cell phone? She IS. She is hitchhiking while talking on a cell phone!” I said as we drove along a Canada highway. No, we did not stop to pick her up. Though I have never heard of a Canadian serial killer, much less a female one, I thought it best not to chance it.
8. “Dad was a house Jonah.” Each of our former family residences – one in Edmonton and one in Seattle – is the most run-down house on the block now with a sense of mystery surrounding it, as in “do drug dealers live there?” I am certain dad is somehow to blame.
9. “Those Dutch! They drink their tea naked!” as recounted by my mom’s friend Bitsy Klee when reminiscing about being stuck in Amsterdam for twelve hours in the early 60’s due to airplane trouble. The Brits at the next table asked for tea and were horrified to receive it with no milk or sugar.
10. “It’s my vacation and I can sleep in until 6:30 if I want to!” my sister Karen said, the sister from another planet, who gets more done before I get up in the morning than I get done all day.

Technorati Tags: 10 things,vacation,canada trip

Favorite Canada Trip Photos So Far

My kinder-chum Deidre and her parents, who all knew me when I was itty-bitty. There is something very special about that.

 

There be alleys here.

 

Me and Deidre and Edmonton. (Yeah, I know I look like a dork. I was trying to concentrate on taking the picture from arm’s length.)

 

Me and Denise, who found me on Facebook and is the reason I am in Canada at this very moment.

 

It’s a water park…IN A MALL.

 

Mom at the top of Jasper Tramway.

 

Hannelore and Eric Pinnington, two of my new favorite people.

 

And my favorite vacation pic so far:

I really want to know what Denise’s dad Dennis is saying to my mom. It may have had something to do with fannies. Apparently that word has a different meaning in the UK than it does in the US.

Off to Banff tomorrow!

 

Technorati Tags: travel,canada trip,photos,denise,deidre,mom

The old homestead

Behold the house in Edmonton where I grew up.

I knocked on the door to no avail. Neighborhood scuttlebutt is that no one actually knows who lives there or what the story is. There are several unfinished improvement projects and four – count ‘em, FOUR – cars parked in the back stuffed full of, well, stuff. Empty cardboard boxes, mostly. This would not be so unusual if they just moved in but they have apparently been there for several years now. Weird.

A slideshow of travel pictures so far.

Off to Jasper today!

 

Technorati Tags: edmonton trip,canada trip