GetSheila

Reality TV, it’s a love/hate thing

I thought I hated Reality TV. Then I discovered I actually watch Reality TV.

A lot.

All those home improvement and decorating shows I record so I can fast forward to the last five minutes to see the completed fabulousness? Reality TV Category: Renovation.

What, you did not know there are so many different styles of Reality TV they had to divvy them up into categories? Me neither! Wikipedia has a nice summary. Turns out I am a junkie and didn’t even know it.

Documentary style, celebrities: Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. You either love Kathy Griffin or you hate her. I am on the love side of the fence because she makes laugh and laugh and laugh. Many of the celebrities she makes fun of in her stand-up act despise her but they should really thank her for showing the world celebrities are normal people who sometimes say and do things that are not perfect. Who else could tell the world Barbara Walters prefers AstroGlide to K-Y Jelly, proving once and for all she is not a Stepford Journalist but in fact an actual human being?

I also used to watch The Osbournes when it was still airing original episodes. A celebrity making millions whose family fights all the time and dogs poop in the house? LOVE IT. It works so well because even with all the yelling and the occasional physical scuffle, they all clearly love each other.

Documentary style, professional activities: DogTown and Dog Whisperer. I just discovered these a few weeks ago. I caught one episode of DogTown and was immediately hooked on seeing neglected pooches get behavior (and sometimes medical) makeovers, then go to a good home. HOOKED.

Dog Whisperer follows DogTown here so I checked it out to see what all the fuss is about. I was skeptical. Some guy who can train a dog in one meeting? I don’t think so.

HOOKED. I love this show not because he is a great trainer – excuse me, pack leader – but because he proves time and time again there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. He trains the owners to be calm, assertive pack leaders. When former MTV deejay Downtown Julie Brown asked if her dog’s behavior was her fault, saying “Tell me, Cesar, I can take it,” Cesar Milan said, “Yes.”

It turned out Julie was not as prepared to hear that answer as she thought she was.

I dabble in the Self Improvement/Makeover category with shows like What Not To Wear and the occasional Supernanny when I am in the mood for watching a train wreck, but since Queer Eye went off the air, my heart just is not in it.

Speaking of Supernanny, if Cesar Milan ever wants to branch out into Child Whispering, his pack leader training techniques are equally suited to training parents to raise well balanced children.

Just a thought.

I have one complaint about the home improvement shows I used to devour like Get it Sold and Sell This House, where they take a house that has been on the market for some time with little buyer interest and transform it on a minimal budget. The goal is to, obviously, sell the house. Sometimes it sells by the end of the show, sometimes it does not but “buyer interest is high.” I think I liked it so much because the makeover did not always result in an immediate sale. You know, like real life.

Then one day these shows – both of them, on different networks – made a seemingly small change that completely ruined things for me. They cleaned and painted and did small renovations like knock down walls or revamp a small bathroom and after all of that was done and everyone was exhausted, they said, “Oh, by the way, we also want you to drop your asking price by $20,000.”

WTF? Okay, that still fits in the guidelines of a show about how to get your house sold but the original format of both shows was all about how to stage your home for a quick sale. They never mentioned the asking price. If the price is an issue, why put in all that work? Lower the price and if it still doesn’t sell, then do the staging. I felt robbed. They sold me this show:

Hypothesis: staging leads to faster sale of your home. Experiment: stage a home that has been on the market for some time and see if it sells shortly thereafter. Variable: staging.

Then they added a second variable, asking price, and pretended it was still the same hypothesis. GAH! That is like claiming exercise alone will help you lose weight, but then you exercise AND change your diet, lose weight, and claim it was all due to the exercise.

Did I mention I felt robbed? And don’t even get me started on Hidden Potential, where they show three incredibly crappy houses to potential buyers with computer generated graphics to show how they can be renovated, the buyer chooses which one they would buy, and…the show ends. Did they buy it? Did the renovations really cost what was projected? Did the bank really loan them $50,000 more than the appraised value based solely on renovations they say they are going to make?

Love. Hate. See what I mean?

 

Technorati Tags: reality tv,home improvement shows

Why Aren't You Having Sex With Oprah?

Would you like to be on Oprah? Can you talk about how you are NOT having sex. And why? In front of a live studio audience and millions of viewers?

I was browsing Oprah.com looking for Kindle info and generally minding my own business when I saw this in the "Be on the Show" box:

Why aren't YOU having sex?

Who can resist clicking on that? Here are the questions you find at the link:

When was the last time you had sex? Was it months -- or even years ago? Maybe it was even in the 1990's? If you haven't had sex in 5, 10, 15 or 20 years -- tell us WHY... Do you feel like you just don't have the time? Are you too busy? Are you too tired? Not enough energy? Do you hate your body? Are you punishing your spouse by withholding sex? Do you hate sex? Is it not enjoyable? Do you no longer want it? Are you no longer interested in sex? If you aren't having sex... tell us why and how long you've felt this way. Are in you interested in having a more satisfying sex life? Do you want to learn how? Why or why not?

Go ahead. Click over to the online submission form. You know you want to be on TV. What, too embarrassing? Or perhaps you have an active sex life so this particular show has no relevance for you.

Don't tell me I am the only person in the world not having sex. That is so depressing.

_____________

Kindle note: Dudes, still way too expensive. How long do I have to wait before the price drops to $100?

Technorati Tags: be on oprah,not having sex,be on tv

Why I read fiction

Murder mysteries. Science fiction. Fantasy. The occasional cozy.

Kathy Reichs. James H. Schmitz. C.J. Cherryh. Kim Harrison. Stephen King.

I read to escape reality. Why? Because reality makes me sad. Sometimes it scares the holy living bajeebies out of me, too. Books do, as well, but I KNOW they are a fantasy and that makes all the difference.

Here are the programs I had on in the background Sunday as I did laundry and other fun mundanity. They all…ALL…sent me running back to my safe, escapist books:

The Universe: Beyond the Big Bang - The formation of galaxies, the creation of elements and the formation of Earth itself. Very cool! Except the part where we are all going to fly apart and disintegrate into nothingness. Never mind that isn’t going to happen for five billion years. It is still going to happen and I don’t want to die and this program reminded me I am going to. Some day. Dammit.

Incredible Islands: Dubai - The Middle Eastern emirate of Dubai is creating 300 man-made islands off it's coast in an effort to become the number one tourist destination in the world. Creating: as in sucking up sand from the ocean floor elsewhere and spitting it out off the coast of Dubai to make a bunch of islands that range in price from 15 to 50 million dollars each just for the sand. The islands are done now and it is on to land and building development. I am just appalled.

Dark Secret of Hendrik Schon – The TV listing blurb says, “The German physicist's work in nanotechnology is surrounded by controversy.” They should have just titled it “Hendrik Schon is a big fat fraud” and been done with it. Of interest to me was the discussion in the scientific community about whether their peer review process should be required to detect deliberate fraud, something the CPA community started talking about around the same time.

Killer Stress: A National Geographic Special - Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky (“Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers”) explores the corrosive effects that stress can have on health. Did you know baboons are remarkably similar to humans in social structure and thus make great research subjects? Yeah, that depressed me, too. But I loved the part where a pack that suffered a devastating loss of all of its alpha males about 20 years ago remains to this day a kinder and gentler pack where females outnumber the males, who are good guys that do not display annoying alpha tendencies like beating up on anything that moves. Yay for baboon enlightenment.

THS Investigates: Cults, Religion & Mind Control – The Children of God; Feroze Godwalla’s Baruch HaShem cult (he wore a kooky, long-tailed pom-pommed ski cap in many of the video clips – most odd;) FLDS and Warren Jeffs, who married a 14 year old girl against her will to her 19 year old first cousin; The Body, where a mother watched her infant son starve to death for 51 days of screaming excruciation but was found not guilty due to the “I was brainwashed” defense; and on and on for another 45 minutes. It was sickening. It was horrifying. It made me want to buy a gun.

BOOKS! Give me books full of fun and adventure and frivolity. Even Stephen King’s horror takes me away to a fun place for a while. Speaking of which, have you read:

Duma Key: A Novel

I listened to in once on audio book and am currently listening to it again, for the sheer joy of his writing. He is so damn good. He wrote this book after he almost died when he was hit by a van while walking along a road near his home. The main character is recovering from an equally devastating accident. Fascinating. Check it out!

 

Technorati Tags: Stephen King,books are good

You, too, can give Mark-Paul Gosselaar Better Hair

Remember when I posted about Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s horrible hair on Raising the Bar?

TNT FOUND ME.

But in a fun way. I received an email telling me about a game they created where you can give MPG better hair. Perhaps I am not the only one who thinks his hair is icky.

How do you like my choice? Very wholesome and so clean he practically squeaks. Much better.

As games go, it is a tad lame with only eight styles to choose from, deceptively expanded to twenty four via color shadings, plus a few mohawks and moustaches and such. BUT STILL, I feel much better about MPG now. Perhaps I will even watch the show.

It is nice to know TNT has a sense of humor.

Thanks to Seth Miller for the link!

Technorati Tags: raising the bar,mark-paul gosselaar,mark-paul gosselaar's hair

Too long to be short, too short for a ponytail

Have you watched the new drama “Raising the Bar?” Do tell me if it is any good.

I cannot bring myself to watch it because of, well, the hair thing.

I’m sorry, but if he insists on having long hair, he could at least wash it. Euw.

Until I went to the show’s website to find his picture, I had no idea that is Mark-Paul Gosselaar. MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR FROM SAVED BY THE BELL, PEOPLE.

He was such and adorable kid. Not too shabby as a clean cut cop on NYPD Blue, either. I guess I just have a thing for that clean cut military style.

Call me old fashioned.

 

Technorati Tags: mark-paul gosselaar,long hair on men

Not So Comcastic

All I want to do is record the Olympics. Is that so much to ask?

Apparently it is, if you are Comcast Digital Cable. Each time I highlight the Olympics and hit the record button, my box takes one look at the 8 hours of recording time, says “Oh, I don’t think so,” and promptly turns itself off.

When I turn it back on, the online guide says, “Um, hi! Nice to see you. For your entertaining pleasure today, we think you will enjoy the program “TBA.” It is such a good show, we are featuring it on every channel!”

Fifteen minutes later, most programming comes back…except the channel showing the Olympics, of course. That one shows a few hours of programming and then the world ends. Or something.

************************

One hour interlude while I chat online with Comcast Support.

************************

They pinged my box and it works fine now. I can even set a series recording for the Olympics! The true test will be whether it still freezes up when I use the online Guide, only to catch up all at once after I have punched fifteen buttons in a row in frustration. Always entertaining.

Technorati Tags: comcast,dvr box problem

Is Reality TV the latest plague?

Dear God,

My sister is watching America's Got Talent in the next room with the volume on high. There is no escape.

Why oh why did you inflict Reality TV on the masses? Is this your latest plague? It is, isn't it?

We don't talk much so I hope the shock and amazement you feel at hearing from me prompts you to fulfill my most humble request: please smite all TV stations that carry Reality TV shows. If that is too all-encompassing, at least strike down Reality TV producers everywhere so I can look forward to an end to the madness in the near future. Please God, my Christian friends tell me you have the power. It is a small request, really. I know you will do the right thing.

Warm regards,

Sheila

Tags: america's got talent, dear god

Leonard Nimoy to Host a Star Trek Retrospective 2/19/2007

Gentle reminder for my fellow Star Trek fans, or rather gentle reminder for my mom and sister since I don't know any Star Trek fans besides us. Anyway, Leonard Nimoy hosts a two-hour special on the History Channel this coming Monday, February 19th, called Star Trek: Beyond the Final Frontier:

For forty years Star Trek has engrossed our imaginations and sent us on voyages across the galaxy. Through ten films and five series this entertainment juggernaut has become a pop culture icon and a window to our society. We will look at the impact that Star Trek has had on fans around the world. From the conventions in Europe and Las Vegas to the billionaire collector who scours the world for memorabilia, we will try to find out just what it is about this supposedly "silly" series that has meant so much to so many. Leonard Nimoy hosts.

It first airs Monday at 9:00PM but later repeats. Follow the link above to find a time that works for you.

Ah, Star Trek. I watched it after school every day when I was growing up. My favorite episode was The Trouble With Tribbles. I watched it again the other day and I am sad to report it did not age well. It is still a cute episode, don't get me wrong, but I had trouble getting past the Klingons. They had no cranial ridges! They looked just like human men, only kind of...sooty...and some had twirly mustaches. Twirly, I tell you!

Tags: leonard nimoy, star trek, beyond the final frontier

Cutest TV Proposal Evar

"Will you marry me? ... I'm sorry we're in the Dump."

(They really were at the Dump.)

What? You say you do not watch Men in Trees?

Well why don't you? Think: Northern Exposure meets Sex and the City. What's not to love?

10 Things I Did Today

I had planned to catch up on a few things today, it being the weekend and all. This is what I did instead:

1. Finally hooked up the TV I bought a week ago to the newly installed cable outlet in my sister's bedroom.
   
   
2. Discovered said newly installed cable outlet was installed wrong.

   Instead of finishing the outlet with a female receptacle that you plug your cable line into (with the other end plugging into your TV), the guy pulled about 3 feet of cable directly out of the wall to be used as the cable line. Problem: What if I want more than 3 feet of cable? I cannot change out the length of cable between the wall and TV because it's not attached to a wall outlet, it is coming directly out of the wall. What was he thinking??

3. Made a note to call the effin' cable company on Monday to schedule another effin' service call to fix the effin' cable outlet.
   
   
4. Finally opened the Tivo box I bought a week ago and read the installation instructions, only to realize I am installing it nowhere near a phone line required for downloading program information.
   
   
5. Discovered Tivo can now also get its program information via a wireless computer network with a device that costs a mere $59.95 (if I want to wait for mail-order) or $64.99 (if I want to put on a bra and drag my ass down to Best Buy so I can get the effin' thing installed today.)
   
   
6. Put on a bra and dragged my ass down to Best Buy.
   
   
7. Resisted the temptation to buy a flat panel HDTV and only came away with a DVD/VCR combo ($89.99) in addition to the wireless Tivo gizmo.
   
   
8. Hooked up and configured my shiny new Tivo, complete with wireless gizmo that allows me to watch my Tivo'd programs on up to 10 additional machines (TV's or computers) on my wireless home network (that I also set up all by myself, thankyouverymuch.)
   
   
9. Hooked up the new DVD/VCR combo to the same TV/Tivo configuration and actually got everything to work as it is supposed to! With sound even!
   
   
10. Had a mani/pedi because, while I am capable of all of this technological wonderment, I am still just a girl.

Technorati Tags: need me a man, television, tivo, tv