GetSheila

TiVo for Dummies

Radio Shack Guy is my new boyfriend. He does not know he is my boyfriend. He just thinks he helped me with a little cable problem but he is definitely my new boyfriend.

THE PROBLEM

This is the back of my teeny, tiny 13” TV. I was going to describe it as the crap kind you can carry around from room to room but that isn’t really fair. It has no handle.

Do you see the problem? No? Let me call your attention to the Audio input on the right. Audio input, singular. Still not seeing it? Here, maybe this will help:

Note the TWO leads at each end of this standard Audio cable. You begin to see my conundrum.

All I want to do is hook up my TiVo box to the tiny TV I keep on the corner of my desk in my home office.

The TV picture isn’t really all that bad, especially up that close, so I just need a couple of cables to connect the TiVo to my cable box and my cable box to my TV. I haven’t read the instructions at this point so I’m not really sure but I’ve hooked up a million of these things so how hard can it be?

THE FRUSTRATION

I determine I need two Audio/Video cables (like the audio cable above but with a third lead coded yellow for video) and one reducer. I don’t know if it is called a reducer, but it is about six inches long with two receptors on one end into which I can plug the red and white audio lines from the A/V cable but only one output on the other to be plugged into the single audio input on the TV. Seems simple enough.

When I lived with my sister Kate, we always a big bin full of various cables. Alas, I am still building my stash so it was off to Best Buy for me, where I discovered the least expensive A/V cable is $20.

Remember I need two.

For my crap TV.

That I only watch when I work from home during tax season and occasionally on Saturday when I pay my bills online.

I don’t think the TV itself cost much more than $40 so no thank you, Best Buy. Next stop: Radio Shack on the Mall. (How do they stay in business, I often wonder?) Their least expensive A/V cable is still about $17…and they only have one.

THE SOLUTION

Enter my new boyfriend, whom I adore so much I didn’t even get his name, though I believe he wore it on a cute little pin on his Radio Shack polo shirt. New Boyfriend told me a secret: the color coding on cables means nothing. NOTHING. It is only there so complete morons can hook up equipment without having to understand (or even read) directions: plug the yellow one into the yellow hole, etc.

I was shocked. SHOCKED. The cables themselves all transmit the same thing so you can plug any color you want into any hole you want as long as it is the same size and shape. It was a revelation.

He further revealed I did not, in fact, need to reduce my two audio cables (the red and the white) to one just because I only had one audio input on my TV. Since the cables all transmit the same thing and I am not worried about getting great sound on external speakers or anything like that, I can simply plug the red plug into the yellow video hole and the white plug into the white audio hole. I wouldn’t even need a 3-line A/V cable. I would only need a 2-line audio cable.

Wha…?

Do you see why I am in love?

I was pretty sure I already had an audio cable at home – remember, I had to shop because I thought need an A/V cable with that third yellow doo-dad – but I bought two audio cables just in case for $7 each: so much better than $20 a piece.

Of course wouldn’t you know as I continue through the onscreen TiVo setup instructions – the “you could be brain dead and still set up your TiVo correctly” on screen setup instructions – it turns out I only need one audio cable and it doesn’t even connect to the TV, just runs between the TiVo box and the cable box. Here is what the final configuration looks like:

It turns out I DID already have an audio cable at home in my bin-o’-cables so I am off to the Mall to break up with Radio Shack Guy and get my $15 back.

Techlove: so fickle.

 

Technorati Tags: tivo setup,audio cable vs audio/video cable,color coded cables,fun with electronics

Earl and Grace

I just figured out where I have seen Earl before, the angel on Saving Grace: Star Trek.

Of course. Anyone who is anyone has been on Star Trek.

Excellent show, by the way, Saving Grace. Do you watch? I am over my initial dislike of Grace. I don’t even find her skanky any more, perhaps because she is no longer sleeping with other women’s husbands. (Though she did cause the divorce. Hm.)

It could simply be that Holly Hunter is compelling in any role. It was a bit of a shock to see her as first of all a blond, and a wildly maned one at that. Does she not own a brush?

I do admit to braiding just a small front section of my side-parted hair to keep it off my face these days, like Grace did in some early episodes. It isn’t terribly attractive but it works oh so well.

Back to Earl: the actor who plays him, Leon Rippy, played a hard drinking musician cryogenically frozen in the 1990’s and awakened in 2364 by the ST:TNG Enterprise-D crew in the episode, “The Neutral Zone.”

You know that game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? I’m pretty sure it works with Star Trek, too.

_____________________

Photos from Memory-Alpha and TNT

 

Technorati Tags: saving grace,leon rippy,earl the angel,star trek the next generation

Reality TV, it’s a love/hate thing

I thought I hated Reality TV. Then I discovered I actually watch Reality TV.

A lot.

All those home improvement and decorating shows I record so I can fast forward to the last five minutes to see the completed fabulousness? Reality TV Category: Renovation.

What, you did not know there are so many different styles of Reality TV they had to divvy them up into categories? Me neither! Wikipedia has a nice summary. Turns out I am a junkie and didn’t even know it.

Documentary style, celebrities: Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. You either love Kathy Griffin or you hate her. I am on the love side of the fence because she makes laugh and laugh and laugh. Many of the celebrities she makes fun of in her stand-up act despise her but they should really thank her for showing the world celebrities are normal people who sometimes say and do things that are not perfect. Who else could tell the world Barbara Walters prefers AstroGlide to K-Y Jelly, proving once and for all she is not a Stepford Journalist but in fact an actual human being?

I also used to watch The Osbournes when it was still airing original episodes. A celebrity making millions whose family fights all the time and dogs poop in the house? LOVE IT. It works so well because even with all the yelling and the occasional physical scuffle, they all clearly love each other.

Documentary style, professional activities: DogTown and Dog Whisperer. I just discovered these a few weeks ago. I caught one episode of DogTown and was immediately hooked on seeing neglected pooches get behavior (and sometimes medical) makeovers, then go to a good home. HOOKED.

Dog Whisperer follows DogTown here so I checked it out to see what all the fuss is about. I was skeptical. Some guy who can train a dog in one meeting? I don’t think so.

HOOKED. I love this show not because he is a great trainer – excuse me, pack leader – but because he proves time and time again there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. He trains the owners to be calm, assertive pack leaders. When former MTV deejay Downtown Julie Brown asked if her dog’s behavior was her fault, saying “Tell me, Cesar, I can take it,” Cesar Milan said, “Yes.”

It turned out Julie was not as prepared to hear that answer as she thought she was.

I dabble in the Self Improvement/Makeover category with shows like What Not To Wear and the occasional Supernanny when I am in the mood for watching a train wreck, but since Queer Eye went off the air, my heart just is not in it.

Speaking of Supernanny, if Cesar Milan ever wants to branch out into Child Whispering, his pack leader training techniques are equally suited to training parents to raise well balanced children.

Just a thought.

I have one complaint about the home improvement shows I used to devour like Get it Sold and Sell This House, where they take a house that has been on the market for some time with little buyer interest and transform it on a minimal budget. The goal is to, obviously, sell the house. Sometimes it sells by the end of the show, sometimes it does not but “buyer interest is high.” I think I liked it so much because the makeover did not always result in an immediate sale. You know, like real life.

Then one day these shows – both of them, on different networks – made a seemingly small change that completely ruined things for me. They cleaned and painted and did small renovations like knock down walls or revamp a small bathroom and after all of that was done and everyone was exhausted, they said, “Oh, by the way, we also want you to drop your asking price by $20,000.”

WTF? Okay, that still fits in the guidelines of a show about how to get your house sold but the original format of both shows was all about how to stage your home for a quick sale. They never mentioned the asking price. If the price is an issue, why put in all that work? Lower the price and if it still doesn’t sell, then do the staging. I felt robbed. They sold me this show:

Hypothesis: staging leads to faster sale of your home. Experiment: stage a home that has been on the market for some time and see if it sells shortly thereafter. Variable: staging.

Then they added a second variable, asking price, and pretended it was still the same hypothesis. GAH! That is like claiming exercise alone will help you lose weight, but then you exercise AND change your diet, lose weight, and claim it was all due to the exercise.

Did I mention I felt robbed? And don’t even get me started on Hidden Potential, where they show three incredibly crappy houses to potential buyers with computer generated graphics to show how they can be renovated, the buyer chooses which one they would buy, and…the show ends. Did they buy it? Did the renovations really cost what was projected? Did the bank really loan them $50,000 more than the appraised value based solely on renovations they say they are going to make?

Love. Hate. See what I mean?

 

Technorati Tags: reality tv,home improvement shows

Why Aren't You Having Sex With Oprah?

Would you like to be on Oprah? Can you talk about how you are NOT having sex. And why? In front of a live studio audience and millions of viewers?

I was browsing Oprah.com looking for Kindle info and generally minding my own business when I saw this in the "Be on the Show" box:

Why aren't YOU having sex?

Who can resist clicking on that? Here are the questions you find at the link:

When was the last time you had sex? Was it months -- or even years ago? Maybe it was even in the 1990's? If you haven't had sex in 5, 10, 15 or 20 years -- tell us WHY... Do you feel like you just don't have the time? Are you too busy? Are you too tired? Not enough energy? Do you hate your body? Are you punishing your spouse by withholding sex? Do you hate sex? Is it not enjoyable? Do you no longer want it? Are you no longer interested in sex? If you aren't having sex... tell us why and how long you've felt this way. Are in you interested in having a more satisfying sex life? Do you want to learn how? Why or why not?

Go ahead. Click over to the online submission form. You know you want to be on TV. What, too embarrassing? Or perhaps you have an active sex life so this particular show has no relevance for you.

Don't tell me I am the only person in the world not having sex. That is so depressing.

_____________

Kindle note: Dudes, still way too expensive. How long do I have to wait before the price drops to $100?

Technorati Tags: be on oprah,not having sex,be on tv

Why I read fiction

Murder mysteries. Science fiction. Fantasy. The occasional cozy.

Kathy Reichs. James H. Schmitz. C.J. Cherryh. Kim Harrison. Stephen King.

I read to escape reality. Why? Because reality makes me sad. Sometimes it scares the holy living bajeebies out of me, too. Books do, as well, but I KNOW they are a fantasy and that makes all the difference.

Here are the programs I had on in the background Sunday as I did laundry and other fun mundanity. They all…ALL…sent me running back to my safe, escapist books:

The Universe: Beyond the Big Bang - The formation of galaxies, the creation of elements and the formation of Earth itself. Very cool! Except the part where we are all going to fly apart and disintegrate into nothingness. Never mind that isn’t going to happen for five billion years. It is still going to happen and I don’t want to die and this program reminded me I am going to. Some day. Dammit.

Incredible Islands: Dubai - The Middle Eastern emirate of Dubai is creating 300 man-made islands off it's coast in an effort to become the number one tourist destination in the world. Creating: as in sucking up sand from the ocean floor elsewhere and spitting it out off the coast of Dubai to make a bunch of islands that range in price from 15 to 50 million dollars each just for the sand. The islands are done now and it is on to land and building development. I am just appalled.

Dark Secret of Hendrik Schon – The TV listing blurb says, “The German physicist's work in nanotechnology is surrounded by controversy.” They should have just titled it “Hendrik Schon is a big fat fraud” and been done with it. Of interest to me was the discussion in the scientific community about whether their peer review process should be required to detect deliberate fraud, something the CPA community started talking about around the same time.

Killer Stress: A National Geographic Special - Neurobiologist Robert Sapolsky (“Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers”) explores the corrosive effects that stress can have on health. Did you know baboons are remarkably similar to humans in social structure and thus make great research subjects? Yeah, that depressed me, too. But I loved the part where a pack that suffered a devastating loss of all of its alpha males about 20 years ago remains to this day a kinder and gentler pack where females outnumber the males, who are good guys that do not display annoying alpha tendencies like beating up on anything that moves. Yay for baboon enlightenment.

THS Investigates: Cults, Religion & Mind Control – The Children of God; Feroze Godwalla’s Baruch HaShem cult (he wore a kooky, long-tailed pom-pommed ski cap in many of the video clips – most odd;) FLDS and Warren Jeffs, who married a 14 year old girl against her will to her 19 year old first cousin; The Body, where a mother watched her infant son starve to death for 51 days of screaming excruciation but was found not guilty due to the “I was brainwashed” defense; and on and on for another 45 minutes. It was sickening. It was horrifying. It made me want to buy a gun.

BOOKS! Give me books full of fun and adventure and frivolity. Even Stephen King’s horror takes me away to a fun place for a while. Speaking of which, have you read:

Duma Key: A Novel

I listened to in once on audio book and am currently listening to it again, for the sheer joy of his writing. He is so damn good. He wrote this book after he almost died when he was hit by a van while walking along a road near his home. The main character is recovering from an equally devastating accident. Fascinating. Check it out!

 

Technorati Tags: Stephen King,books are good

You, too, can give Mark-Paul Gosselaar Better Hair

Remember when I posted about Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s horrible hair on Raising the Bar?

TNT FOUND ME.

But in a fun way. I received an email telling me about a game they created where you can give MPG better hair. Perhaps I am not the only one who thinks his hair is icky.

How do you like my choice? Very wholesome and so clean he practically squeaks. Much better.

As games go, it is a tad lame with only eight styles to choose from, deceptively expanded to twenty four via color shadings, plus a few mohawks and moustaches and such. BUT STILL, I feel much better about MPG now. Perhaps I will even watch the show.

It is nice to know TNT has a sense of humor.

Thanks to Seth Miller for the link!

Technorati Tags: raising the bar,mark-paul gosselaar,mark-paul gosselaar's hair

Too long to be short, too short for a ponytail

Have you watched the new drama “Raising the Bar?” Do tell me if it is any good.

I cannot bring myself to watch it because of, well, the hair thing.

I’m sorry, but if he insists on having long hair, he could at least wash it. Euw.

Until I went to the show’s website to find his picture, I had no idea that is Mark-Paul Gosselaar. MARK-PAUL GOSSELAAR FROM SAVED BY THE BELL, PEOPLE.

He was such and adorable kid. Not too shabby as a clean cut cop on NYPD Blue, either. I guess I just have a thing for that clean cut military style.

Call me old fashioned.

 

Technorati Tags: mark-paul gosselaar,long hair on men

Not So Comcastic

All I want to do is record the Olympics. Is that so much to ask?

Apparently it is, if you are Comcast Digital Cable. Each time I highlight the Olympics and hit the record button, my box takes one look at the 8 hours of recording time, says “Oh, I don’t think so,” and promptly turns itself off.

When I turn it back on, the online guide says, “Um, hi! Nice to see you. For your entertaining pleasure today, we think you will enjoy the program “TBA.” It is such a good show, we are featuring it on every channel!”

Fifteen minutes later, most programming comes back…except the channel showing the Olympics, of course. That one shows a few hours of programming and then the world ends. Or something.

************************

One hour interlude while I chat online with Comcast Support.

************************

They pinged my box and it works fine now. I can even set a series recording for the Olympics! The true test will be whether it still freezes up when I use the online Guide, only to catch up all at once after I have punched fifteen buttons in a row in frustration. Always entertaining.

Technorati Tags: comcast,dvr box problem

Is Reality TV the latest plague?

Dear God,

My sister is watching America's Got Talent in the next room with the volume on high. There is no escape.

Why oh why did you inflict Reality TV on the masses? Is this your latest plague? It is, isn't it?

We don't talk much so I hope the shock and amazement you feel at hearing from me prompts you to fulfill my most humble request: please smite all TV stations that carry Reality TV shows. If that is too all-encompassing, at least strike down Reality TV producers everywhere so I can look forward to an end to the madness in the near future. Please God, my Christian friends tell me you have the power. It is a small request, really. I know you will do the right thing.

Warm regards,

Sheila

Tags: america's got talent, dear god

Leonard Nimoy to Host a Star Trek Retrospective 2/19/2007

Gentle reminder for my fellow Star Trek fans, or rather gentle reminder for my mom and sister since I don't know any Star Trek fans besides us. Anyway, Leonard Nimoy hosts a two-hour special on the History Channel this coming Monday, February 19th, called Star Trek: Beyond the Final Frontier:

For forty years Star Trek has engrossed our imaginations and sent us on voyages across the galaxy. Through ten films and five series this entertainment juggernaut has become a pop culture icon and a window to our society. We will look at the impact that Star Trek has had on fans around the world. From the conventions in Europe and Las Vegas to the billionaire collector who scours the world for memorabilia, we will try to find out just what it is about this supposedly "silly" series that has meant so much to so many. Leonard Nimoy hosts.

It first airs Monday at 9:00PM but later repeats. Follow the link above to find a time that works for you.

Ah, Star Trek. I watched it after school every day when I was growing up. My favorite episode was The Trouble With Tribbles. I watched it again the other day and I am sad to report it did not age well. It is still a cute episode, don't get me wrong, but I had trouble getting past the Klingons. They had no cranial ridges! They looked just like human men, only kind of...sooty...and some had twirly mustaches. Twirly, I tell you!

Tags: leonard nimoy, star trek, beyond the final frontier