Fitblogging 3

It has been six months since my last message. I am not entirely sure what has transpired during that time. Something called “the holidays” and “tax season,” whatever those are. All I know is it involved sitting behind a desk all day pretending Sweet and Salty Chocolate Almond Balance Bare’s comprise a balanced diet.

My host does not want me to tell you how much weight it gained. It got on the Wii Balance Board and was horrified. It has never weighed more. In fact, its last top weight was fifteen pounds lighter.

Ow! Stop it! I won’t tell them the number! Ow!

My host wishes me to convey its weight is not important. It is how the body feels, how limber it is, how healthy, that matters.

It is planning a Fit Party, where friends bring over their various Wii exercise DVD’s so they can evaluate the ones they do not yet have. So far, only Wii Fit, EA Sports Active, and My Fitness Coach are on the table. Do please suggest any other personal trainer-type DVD’s you know about for the Wii.

I don’t want it to lose its momentum.

 

March Madness is Stupid

There, I said it. And you cannot make me take it back.

Big Kahuna sent an email around reminding everyone to make their March Madness picks Wednesday night before going home because games begin Thursday morning. He mentioned it to me specifically because he knows I am not a sports fan. One year I missed entering a team in one of the slots so I lost my lead when they got to that game. It was one of the finals. Kind of important to fill all those out, apparently. How I was in the lead in the first place is beyond me because I picked my teams based solely on whether or not I liked the name of the city.

Another year I boycotted the thing entirely because, as I mentioned, it is stupid.

Oh the uncomfortableness of that tax season. Everyone was talking about the games and making fun of who was in last place. They were having such a good time until they got 'round to me. It was like being the only grownup at Chucky Cheese without a child: unexpected; awkward; slightly sinister. They did not know what to do with me.

I had no idea such a mountain of peer pressure would descend upon me for not participating in an office game that (I thought) was voluntary . When Fantasy Football rolled around in the Fall, oh yeah, I played.

But then I started blogging and guess who poo-poo'd it as a giant waste of time? Big Kahuna. When asked periodically if he ever bothers to read my blog, he responds, "Who has time to read blogs? Do people really read those? I am too busy to read blogs." He says the word "blogs" like it is mustard when he was expecting Bearnaise sauce, like it is a trivial, stupid waste of time.

This is the same guy who spends all of his free time watching or playing sports and picking fantasy teams for a game where nobody actually wins anything when it is over. I used to participate out of politeness. He would get so excited about it all. I did not want to hurt his feelings by telling him I would rather muck out the stalls than watch a sporting event.

Now? No thank you. I will not be participating in your trivial and stupid March Madness and Fantasy Football contests. I will be over here doing my trivial and stupid blogging instead.

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