GetSheila

Oh me of little faith

What if there really is a god? I do not personally believe that but…what if? Okay then, which one? I mean, there are an awful lot to choose from, aren’t there? Let us start with the Christian god, since that is the one I am most familiar with (though that is not saying much.)

But first, what do I do with my belief that religion was created to control the masses, to create some sort of order out of chaos and give people a reason to be good? Do I have to suspend this belief to explore the possibility there may actually be a god? Probably. Okay, up on the shelf it goes.

God. Jesus Christ. I cannot say the latter without subconsciously tacking “Superstar” on the end. And why do I feel like I am swearing when I say those words? Thou shall not take the Lord’s name in vain. Is that a commandment and, if so, why? Is this really so horrendous an act it needed its own commandment?

But I digress.

If there really is a god, it does not necessarily follow that he/she/it is good, does it? Maybe he is capricious, like Q or a vatch. It also does not necessarily follow that when we die we go to a better place. Maybe we have already paid our dues and this is the better place. Or if we do go on after this, what if our True Form is a middle-aged, heavy set, black woman? Won’t that be a surprise to all those good ole boys out there?

It is a nice fantasy to believe there is a god, or at least that we go to a better place after we die, where we meet up with our loved ones again. Or is it? What if your greatest desire is to see your beloved who was taken from you in a tragic accident? But what if you eventually moved past the tragedy and found a deep and meaningful love again? Who do you get to be with in heaven? Is bigamy allowed? And if so, do we really want that? I cannot imagine that working very well unless our minds are so different we no longer get our feelings hurt or experience things like insecurity, jealousy, and anger.

If that is the case, it does not sound like our entire soul moves on. Or maybe our soul is separate and distinct from our full, feeling, corporeal form. If so, what are we, really?

Have you ever sat down and imagined your own private heaven? Who would be in it? What would your surroundings look like? Feel like? Would it ever rain? I have tried to image my personal slice of heaven and, frankly, I was bored by the end of my first month there.

Okay six months. A year, tops.

This tells me humans cannot possibly imagine what it would really be like. We bore and frustrate too easily. And besides, we are starting from a rather limited point of reference. Heaven would have to be completely unexpected and so wonderful that it captures our imagination and holds it for…well, forever.

 

Technorati Tags: lung cancer,is there a god?,heaven

Do you answer the door? Always?

My home is my castle, though perhaps cave is a better word. Castle implies formal surroundings where everyone dresses for dinner. In a cave, however, you would not be surprised to find people running around in their underwear and eating without utensils.

My home is my cave.

If I know you are coming over, I will put on a bra and clothing fit for public consumption. If you arrive unannounced, well, shame on you. Your punishment will be the indelible visual of a braless me wearing PJ’s or shorts and a tank top that leave nothing to the imagination. Sexy at twenty, perhaps, but just plain horrifying at forty three. Serves you right, home crasher.

Often I do not even answer the door. I tiptoe up to the peep hole to see if I recognize the invader. If not, I usually just tiptoe away. This was easier when I used the family room at the back of the house as my TV room. Now that I watch TV in the front room, I am more easily busted.

Today I slept late. The doorbell rang as I watched my Olympics recording and enjoyed my first cup of tea. I tiptoed to the peep hole anyway because sometimes I do not answer even if I know they know I am inside. If they are carrying a clipboard or otherwise look like they are selling something, I really do not care if they think I am rude. My personal space, my rules.

But today it was a trim, white haired lady who looked to be in her sixties, so I opened the door (tank dress PJ’s, unbrushed hair, and all.) Guess what she wanted? She was taking a survey of how people planned to vote on a ballot measure that makes it legal to discriminate against same-sex marriages in California.

No wait, that is not quite right: a ballot measure that promotes gay-bashing.

Dang, that is not it either: a ballot measure that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman. Yeah, that was it.

And by survey I mean find out if you were against it and try to convince you the error of your ways.

Silver-haired devil: Do you understand they would still have all the same rights as same-sex marriages?
Me: If that were true, then why do we need a ballot measure to legally define the difference?
Silver-haired devil: …
Me: Thanks for stopping by! (cheerfully, as I shut the door)

__________________________

That is what I get for answering the door.

So do you always answer your door? How about the telephone?

 

Technorati Tags: gay marriage,door busters,personal space

Church and The Giggles

It is not exactly appropriate to get the giggles in the midst of a Catholic funeral mass. I blame Eddie Izzard.

To understand how such a blasphemous thing could happen, you must first watch this video. It is 5:45 minutes long but, if you are pressed for time, let it fully load then watch the portion from 3:38 to 4:38.

G’head, I’ll wait. (Embedded video below)

Back? Okay, so I am dutifully listening to the sermon, where we get up and sit down and get up and kneel and get up again and I think I may actually lose some weight by the end of the service. As we stand, the priest says something about a hymn book and a specific page number.

And then.

They started.

To sing.

And that is why I cannot go back to St. Anthony’s Catholic Church in Atwater. Ever. Again.

Technorati Tags: singing in church,eddie izzard

I still do not understand religion

I attended a funeral mass in a local Catholic church yesterday. Amazingly, neither the walls caved in nor did spontaneous fires erupt as I walked through the doors. In respect for the deceased, no doubt.

My last trip to a holy house was about fifteen years ago. also for a funeral mass. This time I was less emotionally involved so I was able to really listen to the service.

Big mistake.

The part that caught my attention was when the priest talked about the flock and how, when one strays, you do not abandon the stray but rather make it first priority to get the stray back. I was with him at that point.

Next, however, he said strays are more important to God than the non-straying members of the flock. This was not only during the straying period but also once the wayward member returns to the flock.

I do not know about you, but if I was a member of the flock who had stayed faithful to God and never strayed in my beliefs, that would really piss me off.

I am unsure why this particular story was told. Perhaps I was not listening as closely as I thought but I do not remember any mention of the deceased straying from the church in the first place.

It is probably better I am not a member of an organized religion. I would ask too many questions and piss people off left and right. I already do enough of that at my day job.

 

 

Technorati Tags: catholic mass

I Am The Moon

My tarot card is the Moon. What is yours? (Via the empress and the devil)

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

 

Technorati Tags: superstition, tarot

Church Bread

The sandwiches at Pizza Villa in Merced, California, are excellent. My only complaint is the way the crusty outside of the bread rips up the top of my mouth, but that does not stop me from completely devouring my hot salami sandwich with mayo and sweet onions. No.

My friend Micky has a different complaint. As she devours her hot sandwich with equal gusto, she says, "It's crusty on the outside but soft on the inside. Reminds me of church bread."

Me: "Church bread?"

Micky: "You know the little wafers they give you at communion as "the body of Christ." We used to call it church bread when we were kids. It stuck to the roof of your mouth and took forever to get out of there. You weren't allowed to stick your fingers in there and dig it out because it was was blasphemous to touch the holy bread with your mere mortal hands."

Me: "But don't they hand it to you in your cupped hand at communion?"

Micky: "Now they do, the pansies, but back in the day you had to open your mouth so they could put the wafer directly on your tongue. No chewing. And no messing about with your tongue to get it unstuck, either. They actually had classes to teach you the correct way to eat church bread."

Me: "So you had to just, what?, wait for Christ to melt and dislodge himself from the roof of your mouth? That's creepy."

Micky: "That's Catholicism."

Tags: church bread, communion, body of christ

Julia Sweeney Rocks, As Does Eddie Izzard

I read Julia Sweeney's blog. I admit it. Yes, she is a stream-of-consciousness writer and has a tendency to ramble. So much so, in fact, one of her commenters told her she needs an editor. How rude! Or rather, how very business-like and boring, you pedantic ass.

But Julia Sweeney has a healthy skepticism for religion and I love that about her. This quote from her latest post is just so perfect I have to include it here:

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. --Lucius Annaeus Seneca (4BC – AD65)

Let us just let that last part sink in for a moment: "by the rulers as useful." Keep that in mind during the next week or so, would you oh-voters-of-America?

Sweeney goes on to say she wants to be one of the common people. She does not want to be set apart for her views on religion but those are her views and what are you gonna do? Pretend to think like everyone else just to fit in? That's called fascism, people. Just so you know.

Hey look, Seneca was alive during that whole BC / AD changeover thing Eddie Izzard talks about in one of his early shows (Glorious or Dress to Kill, I can't remember which.) I highly recommend Dress to Kill if you are in the mood for a laugh. And some history. Eddie Izzard is the Wikipedia of comedy. He provides lots of historical information that may or may not be accurate but makes you think and gives you a jumping off point from which to do your own research should the topic so motivate you.

But I digress. Religion: used as a tool by the people in power who really don't give a rat's ass what you believe as long as you vote to put/keep them in power.

Who is the majority out there today, Bob? Christians? Oh good, that covers a nice broad range, doesn't it? Okay, I am officially Christian starting now, and we should probably include some history for me, too. Let's mention I was an altar boy. What? That's a Catholic thing? Aren't Catholics also Christians? I don't get it. Okay, whatever, just make sure people know I am god-fearing and all that. And get me some photo ops with babies and old people, for Christ sake!

Politicians. I hate them all.

Tags: julia sweeney, politicians, religion, eddie izzard, politicsvote