GetSheila

Sprinkler Conundrum

Does anyone else see a problem here?

 

Sprinklers? Water? Electrical lines? Just a-dangling in the wind? My front sprinklers have been connected to the controller in the backyard via this method since I moved in two years ago. Surprisingly, I have had no problems.

Until last week.

I do not know when it started, exactly. All I know is my front yard started looking brown and, when I went to investigate, I discovered the orange electrical caps scattered on the ground and the wires dangling in the wind, completely disconnected.

At first I blamed vandals. You know, “those damn kids!” But then I realized, 1) the few kids we have in the neighborhood are generally well behaved, and 2) who is going to vandalize sprinkler wires? It would be much more fun to break the actual sprinkler pipe and send water gushing into the air. I do not think vandals have the patience to disconnect sprinkler wires and then wait days or possibly weeks to see how long it takes the homeowner to notice the lawn is dying.

With vandals eliminated, I can only assume the neighborhood tomcat found the bright, dangling things irresistible and batted them around until they fell off and stopped being interesting. Officially, he lives next door. In reality, he lives on my front porch and in my back garden. He just eats next door.

To reconnect the sprinkler wires, I needed to know which of the three coming from the controller was the common wire and which were the field wires. The common is usually white while the field wires are all colors of the rainbow so you can easily identify red as zone 1, blue as zone 2, etc.

Note the colors of the three wires coming out of the tubing. THAAAAAAT’S right…they are all WHITE.

There are multicolored wires coming out of the controller in the back yard but they connect to the backyard valves…located just a few feet from the controller…where you can pull on a wire and see which zone terminal it connects to so the colors are not entirely necessary.

The genius who set things up decided not to bother spending 25 cents to get a second set of colored wires to connect the front sprinklers. You know, the ones half way around the house and stapled to the eaves so, even if you had a second person standing in back to help you see the connections, pulling on a wire from the front would result in zero movement to the wires in the back. You are stuck with trial and error: hook it all up, walk to the back of the house, turn on zone 4, walk to the front of the house, see if it actually turns on, lather, rinse, repeat.

The gods were smiling on me, however.  I connected everything correctly on the first try: common, zone 4, and zone 5. I did not even get the zones out of order.

Never underestimate sheer dumb luck.

 

Technorati Tags: home improvement,automatic sprinkler repair

Want what you have

I was thinking the other day about how I always want to change something about my house to make it better. I took a look at the before and after photos of my house so far and – Oh My God – my house is super cute compared to where I started. I need to appreciate that more.

Before and After slideshow for your viewing pleasure:

Yes, I live in a world of beige. Shut up. I like it.

Technorati Tags: home improvement,house,before and after

Reality TV, it’s a love/hate thing

I thought I hated Reality TV. Then I discovered I actually watch Reality TV.

A lot.

All those home improvement and decorating shows I record so I can fast forward to the last five minutes to see the completed fabulousness? Reality TV Category: Renovation.

What, you did not know there are so many different styles of Reality TV they had to divvy them up into categories? Me neither! Wikipedia has a nice summary. Turns out I am a junkie and didn’t even know it.

Documentary style, celebrities: Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. You either love Kathy Griffin or you hate her. I am on the love side of the fence because she makes laugh and laugh and laugh. Many of the celebrities she makes fun of in her stand-up act despise her but they should really thank her for showing the world celebrities are normal people who sometimes say and do things that are not perfect. Who else could tell the world Barbara Walters prefers AstroGlide to K-Y Jelly, proving once and for all she is not a Stepford Journalist but in fact an actual human being?

I also used to watch The Osbournes when it was still airing original episodes. A celebrity making millions whose family fights all the time and dogs poop in the house? LOVE IT. It works so well because even with all the yelling and the occasional physical scuffle, they all clearly love each other.

Documentary style, professional activities: DogTown and Dog Whisperer. I just discovered these a few weeks ago. I caught one episode of DogTown and was immediately hooked on seeing neglected pooches get behavior (and sometimes medical) makeovers, then go to a good home. HOOKED.

Dog Whisperer follows DogTown here so I checked it out to see what all the fuss is about. I was skeptical. Some guy who can train a dog in one meeting? I don’t think so.

HOOKED. I love this show not because he is a great trainer – excuse me, pack leader – but because he proves time and time again there are no bad dogs, just bad owners. He trains the owners to be calm, assertive pack leaders. When former MTV deejay Downtown Julie Brown asked if her dog’s behavior was her fault, saying “Tell me, Cesar, I can take it,” Cesar Milan said, “Yes.”

It turned out Julie was not as prepared to hear that answer as she thought she was.

I dabble in the Self Improvement/Makeover category with shows like What Not To Wear and the occasional Supernanny when I am in the mood for watching a train wreck, but since Queer Eye went off the air, my heart just is not in it.

Speaking of Supernanny, if Cesar Milan ever wants to branch out into Child Whispering, his pack leader training techniques are equally suited to training parents to raise well balanced children.

Just a thought.

I have one complaint about the home improvement shows I used to devour like Get it Sold and Sell This House, where they take a house that has been on the market for some time with little buyer interest and transform it on a minimal budget. The goal is to, obviously, sell the house. Sometimes it sells by the end of the show, sometimes it does not but “buyer interest is high.” I think I liked it so much because the makeover did not always result in an immediate sale. You know, like real life.

Then one day these shows – both of them, on different networks – made a seemingly small change that completely ruined things for me. They cleaned and painted and did small renovations like knock down walls or revamp a small bathroom and after all of that was done and everyone was exhausted, they said, “Oh, by the way, we also want you to drop your asking price by $20,000.”

WTF? Okay, that still fits in the guidelines of a show about how to get your house sold but the original format of both shows was all about how to stage your home for a quick sale. They never mentioned the asking price. If the price is an issue, why put in all that work? Lower the price and if it still doesn’t sell, then do the staging. I felt robbed. They sold me this show:

Hypothesis: staging leads to faster sale of your home. Experiment: stage a home that has been on the market for some time and see if it sells shortly thereafter. Variable: staging.

Then they added a second variable, asking price, and pretended it was still the same hypothesis. GAH! That is like claiming exercise alone will help you lose weight, but then you exercise AND change your diet, lose weight, and claim it was all due to the exercise.

Did I mention I felt robbed? And don’t even get me started on Hidden Potential, where they show three incredibly crappy houses to potential buyers with computer generated graphics to show how they can be renovated, the buyer chooses which one they would buy, and…the show ends. Did they buy it? Did the renovations really cost what was projected? Did the bank really loan them $50,000 more than the appraised value based solely on renovations they say they are going to make?

Love. Hate. See what I mean?

 

Technorati Tags: reality tv,home improvement shows

How to install a sink tip-out tray

Clearly I need to post something to take your mind off the Atwater Embezzlistas. How about sink tray installation instructions? That will lull you into submission. Step-by-step instructions at the end of this post.

When I took my kitchen cabinets apart to paint them, I discovered the sink front panel was merely stapled to the cabinet frame. Stapled! I had to remove it to make painting both it and the frame so I decided to convert it to a tip-out tray.

I bought a $12 conversion kit at Lowes on sale. The regular price is $15.47 and I have seen them online for $23.99 for the same exact kit. Of course, you can also buy nicer stainless steel trays, better hinges, a full tray instead of two small trays if your opening is not divided like mine, etc. As with remodeling, the options are endless.

My kit came with two plastic trays: an “accessory” tray to hold rings and soap (note the little volcano on the left on which to slide your rings):

And a plain tray:

I use both to hold sponges and scrub brushes.

The kit will come with installation instructions and templates for drilling your hardware screw holes. Some of the instructions are ass-backwards, though, because they call for you to screw things in at an angle where you cannot possibly get your screw driver unless you have a shorty or a bendy ratcheting one.

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Trace your opening. BEFORE REMOVING THE SINK FRONT PANEL, take a pencil and trace the outline of your openings on the inside of the panel. This makes aligning the trays to fit the openings easy once you have the panel off. Translation: no measuring.
    
2. Remove and refinish the panel. Remove the sink front panel and paint or stain the inside, as necessary. You may need to do the same to the frame. Since the panel was designed to sit there and never open, these areas are often left unfinished.
   
   Note: your pencil markings at step 1 will be for naught if you then paint over them so either create a template from your markings or retrace them after you refinish the inside of the panel. For the latter, get a helper to hold the panel in place while you trace from the inside or use clamps to keep the panel from moving around.
    
3. Attach the tray hardware. Align the trays in the traced areas on the back of the panel and mark your screw holes. Remove the trays, pre-drill the holes, and attach the screws. Leave enough room between the screw head and the panel so you can easily attach the trays and later remove them for cleaning. Do not attach the trays yet. That will come last.
    
4. Attach the hinges. Using the template provided with your kit, mark and drill the holes for the hinges on both the back of the panel and the cabinet frame. Here is what the hinges look like when everything is together. (Just remember the trays will not be attached yet at this step so they will not be in your way.)
   
   
   
   Scroll down at this site to see an optional hinge you may want to buy separately if you don't like the ones that come with your kit.
   
   Attach the hinges first to the panel, then to the sides of the frame. Do the panel first because it is an odd angle to work with if you first attach the panel to the frame. It can be done but a normal screwdriver will not fit because the sink is in the way.
   
   Next, it is a little tricky attaching the hinges to the frame because 1) they are now attached to the panel, which limits your range of motion, and 2) they try to close on you if you bump the panel. It can be done alone but it is easier if you have a helper to hold the panel in place.
    
5. Attach a new handle. Now that your sink front panel will open and close, you will need a handle to make that happen unless your cabinet doors are of the style that opens without handles. Drill the holes for your new hardware and attach it now.
    
6. Attach the trays. Slide the trays on to the screws you attached at Step 3 and you are done.

VOILA!

See the picture at the beginning of this post for what it looks like open.

I am not crazy about the knobs I used - I would rather have a long bar-style handle - but it was what I had on hand. I have to replace them one day anyway because, erm, I measured wrong so they are not symmetrical.

A project for another day. For now, I don't even notice the asymmetry anymore. It is called HIPB - Home Improvement Project Burnout - pronounced "HIP-bee" and characterized by bouts of lying on the sofa with the TV remote mumbling things like "I just don't care anymore" and "No one will even notice" followed by the ingestion of copious amounts of crispy fried things.

Good luck, you home improvement groupies.

Technorati Tags: home improvement,kitchen cabinets,how to install a sink tip-out tray

I (thumps chest) have made Kitchen!

Finally, the kitchen is done. Well, for now. You know how I like to shake things up every few months. Here are links to:

1. The photos on Flickr, and
2. A slideshow on Flickr (you may want to play it backwards to see the “before” photos first)

But these two photos really say it all:

BEFORE

AFTER

Do excuse the boob light hanging from the ceiling. It is not my favorite but it is functional and goes with the silver (as opposed to gold) theme.

Click on each picture to jump over to Flickr to see it bigger and in better focus. (Click on All Sizes once you get there to see it Really Big.)

Details I love that you may not even even notice:

1. Converted the sink front into a tip-out tray to hold sponges and things;
2. Repositioned the lazy susan door up half an inch so the gap at the top is not so large and noticeable;
3. Added baseboards;
4. Changed out the sink light fixture for something more modern;
5. Replaced the yellow-beige outlets and switches with white ones;
6. Used white hinges rather than brushed nickel so they would disappear and not be noticed;
7. Added a window covering so I can walk around naked without fear of the back neighbors seeing me. You know, if I wanted to.

I cannot believe I lived with those crappy cabinets for OVER A YEAR. It was a huge undertaking and I picked a bad time of year weather-wise to do it, but I am quite happy I did it. I love my kitchen now.

Next up: find a tasteful kitchen cart to replace the table holding the microwave. Something at counter height that will provide storage yet blend with the rest of the kitchen.

 

Technorati Tags: kitchen cabinets,refinish kitchen cabinets,home improvement

Only two weeks?

Has it really been only two weeks since I began my kitchen cabinet painting project? It seems like FOREVER.

In the olden days, I would have worked into the night until 9:00 or 10:00 on the weekends and been done with this project by now. These days, I take what I intend to be a short dinner break and never go back to the working part.

I would also, in the olden days, work on the cabinets in the evenings after my day job. You would think a little manual labor after sitting on my butt at a computer all day would be a good thing. The little red guy sitting on my shoulder says otherwise.

I have a slideshow of my progress so far on Flickr. Click on “Options” in the upper right hand corner to play the show backward so you see the before pictures first. Also click on “Show Info” in the upper right hand corner if you want to see my titles and descriptions as the pictures play.

Prepare to be grossed out by the bottom of my lower cabinet doors before I scrubbed them clean.

 

Technorati Tags: home improvement,kitchen cabinets,painting cabinets

Winter Masthead / Banner

Hola. To get the Thanksgiving banner out of your face, I chose one of the Typepad themed banners called Winter. Kinda cute!

Any time you know something has changed on a web page but cannot see it, hold down the Ctrl key while you click on the Refresh button for your browser. That will cause the browser to go out and retrieve a new page, rather than the one it has cached in memory.

Speaking of winter, have you started your holiday shopping yet? Put up a tree? Emblazoned your house in a blatant attempt to shame your neighbors into doing the same?

I am exhausted just thinking about it. I will put up my fake tree after I get my kitchen cabinets back together. My sister and friend Micky have offered to help me this weekend. Actually, I asked Micky, who said yes, and my sister offered to shut me up after listening to me whine about how much work it was turning out to be and how much I still had left to do.

I was just venting. Really. It was not my intention to guilt her into offering to help me.

Well, maybe it was just a little bit. But it was purely subconscious and without guile! I swear.

 

Technorati Tags: home improvement,kitchen cabinets,it takes a village

Me and my stupid ideas

I decided to paint my kitchen cabinets this weekend. Great idea, I thought. Three solid days after Thanksgiving in which to get the job done.

FRIDAY: I emptied the contents, removed the doors, and removed the old hinges from the doors. Since I am painting the cabinets white and the hinges are currently a disgustingly dirty dark color that I think used to be copper, I will replace them with shiny new white hinges.

SATURDAY: I scrubbed the doors with TSP (kitchen grease accumulated at the bottom of doors is guh-ross,) then sanded them a bit where the old paint sloughed off to reveal the original finish. I worried that I should sand them all the way down when I saw that. I bought a good shellac-based super-duper bonding primer instead. I may live to regret it. Hopefully I will have enough money to renovate my kitchen by then.

SUNDAY: I woke early – like 5:00 am - for unpleasant reasons after having ordered the pizza for dinner Saturday night. I proceeded to go back to bed “for just a few minutes” and did not wake up until 11:00. Bugger! I only primed the back of the doors yesterday so I still have to prime the fronts and edges, finish scrubbing the gunk off the cabinet exteriors, prime the cabinet exteriors, then paint everything with the real paint at least two coats worth, which takes 4 hours to dry between coats.

It is really depressing when you need help on a project but only have one friend to call and she is out riding her motorcycle on a fine day like today.

Why don’t you people live closer!

 

Technorati Tags: home improvement,painting cabinets,kitchen cabinets,I am woman hear me roar

Bull in a china shop

Had you been at the Fresno Cost Plus World Market this weekend, you would have heard a spectacular crash coming from the glassware area.

It went on and on and on, then someone started clapping and cheering like they do at restaurants when the waiter drops a tray full of dishes.

I am surprised I have not witnessed this sort of catastrophe before. Cost Plus stacks box upon box of glassware in the aisles, then displays a sample of the glasses right on top of the box. I checked out the one that went down this weekend and it was seven boxes high, each holding 6 champagne flutes. The tower was very Dr. Seuss with the glasses perched like Yertle the Turtle atop a turtle tower.

Everyone who shops at Cost Plus knows about these hazards. The idiot who knocked it over was clearly not paying attention, probably trying to unfurl a table runner and backed into it or something.

Day dreamer.

Preoccupied moron.

Careless fool.

Oh wait, it was me.

So have you ever destroyed a store display in the name of shopping? Do tell.

Technorati Tags: adventures in shopping,cost plus world market,store display disasters

SWF looking for handy man. Must love cats.

Yesterday was my birthday. My neighbors gave me the gift of quiet. I gave myself the gift of digging in the dirt, adding water, digging some more and ending up all muddy. There used to be a tree next to my spa, you see. Well, here, see:

It was right in that area that is surrounded by pavers. Why anyone would plant a tree that close to the spa, the house, and the patio is a mystery. It was a beautiful, giant crepe myrtle with red blooms, too. You can imagine the mess when the blooms started dropping, right over the spa, every damn day (or so it seemed.)

A closer look at the hole, before excavation:

Yeah, Root City. I subsequently took out the rest of the pavers and began digging. I found my sprinkler lines. I found the extra line that goes over to the outdoor shower: the useless outdoor shower that only sprays cold water so, um, WHY? And I found some REALLY BIG roots that run under my sprinkler lines and, apparently, continue on under the patio.

I gave up and came inside to take a shower.

The picture is blurry but please note the extra pinkness about my cheeks. This is two hours after over-exerting myself. I always get red in the face, have done since I was a kid. It tends to alarm people, who tell me to sit down and offer to bring me water. This can be useful at times.

So now I have a big muddy hole in the backyard with a bunch of dead roots strewn across my lawn and many more still to extract. Then I get to put all the mud back, compact it with a hand tamper because I am too cheap to rent a motorized one, lay weed barrier fabric, and put all the pavers back.

But first I will obsess about how the weed barrier cannot possibly stop tree root shoots that look like giant bunches of bean sprouts. Amazingly strong bean sprouts. So strong they push up the pavers and look like little aliens reaching for the sun. And if they are so strong, should I bother with the weed barrier? Won’t that make it harder to get to, and dig out, the bean sprouts once they push a paver up and out of alignment? And what about leveling? Shouldn’t I put down sand to properly level the pavers? But isn’t that yet another level to go through if the alien bean sprouts cause misalignment?

I may have a muddy hole in my backyard for some time while I struggle with decision coma brought on by pre-DIY’ers remorse.

 

Technorati Tags: home improvement,laying pavers,spa