As you know, mom and I spent a night the ER a week ago.
The most surprising thing to me about the ER - aside from the freezing cold temperature -was the number of cops on hand. On a trip back from the bathroom, mom asked a handsome young officer if there was “always a law enforcement presence at the hospital.” She’s so cute.
And formal.
And naive.
He smiled and said no, he was just there in case the person he brought in needed processing out. I gather that means if the person turns out to be legally drunk, he is there to escort them to the pokey.
As we maneuvered back to her room through the hallway crammed with beds, I noticed a big dude with a tattoo on his neck passed out cold. He was handcuffed to his bed rail and a woman with a clipboard stood next to him caressing his cheek with one finger saying, “Anthony, Anthony, why are you so sleepy, Anthony?”
CREEPY.
Virtually all of the remaining hallway beds had cops standing next to them from various agencies: Highway Patrol, City cops, County Sheriffs. Since they were in the hallway but not in any of the rooms I ever-so-unobtrusively peeped into as we passed by, it makes me wonder if they put the actual sick people in rooms while the suspected drunk drivers get the hallway.
Would that be Stupidity Profiling?
An EMT was setting up a 20-something girl on the bed outside mom’s room when we returned. She was still on the backboard with her head immobilized and seemed quite scared. The EMT made sure she was comfortable, told her she had been in a car accident, and let her know she was in a hospital. Though I didn’t see any blood or bruises, I felt bad for her all the same.
But then she fired up her cell phone and started sobbing into it about being at the hospital and not knowing what happened but THEY told her she hit another car on Pacheco Pass and now she was going to be arrested for drunk driving.
Um, yeah, I stopped feeling sorry for her at that point. I so hope the people in the other car are okay. Stupid, stupid girl.
I would also ask you to note Stupid Girl should be further condemned for using her cell phone right there in the ER when everyone KNOWS cell phones are verboten in hospitals but then you might ask how I was able to update my Twitter and Facebook status throughout the night.
Because texting is silent and under the radar, hence PERFECTLY FINE, that’s how.
Shut up.
The Stupid Girl saga was not over yet, though. Just as mom was dozing off, the girl yelled, “How many times do you people have to stick me!” and made a general commotion about already having given blood. She then refused to cooperate further and was surprised when the cops showed up a few minutes later. Since she was just outside our door, we had front row seats. It was delicious, except for the part where no one could sleep until she shut up.
Stupid Girl complained the cops couldn’t take her because she was in pain and needed medical treatment. The nurse explained the only reason she called the officers was because she, Stupid Girl, had refused to provide more blood or submit to x-rays so she was ready to be processed out. When there is no treatment left to provide, you must be released from the ER. When Stupid Girl whined they already drew blood so how come they had to draw more, the nurse explained the previous draw was for the DUI test.
I may have snickered ever so slightly when I heard that. Stupid Girl volunteered blood for a DUI test – granted, probably unknowingly – but then withheld it for the real medical tests. Sweet!
Two jobs I could not do: cop and nurse (or any medical personnel, for that matter.) They spoke to Stupid Girl so calmly and neutrally, explaining that she had to decide either to submit to further treatment or leave with the officers.
Guess which one she chose.
Mom was released right about then so I don’t know if Stupid Girl caused any more drama but I am pretty sure where she ended up that morning: in the pokey, and deservedly so.





Spam emails: who writes this stuff?
I’ve been getting a lot of spam for “High-End Luxury Watches!”
As opposed to “Low-End” luxury watches?
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