It started as a simple visit to my sister’s place near Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. I got the idea to take a few days to drive from there up to Edmonton, Alberta, city of my birth. Hey, maybe mom would like to come along! It is always more fun to travel a deux.
Mom said yes and so began the logistical planning…and my swift descent into Travel Planning Hell.
- International, my ass. I had thought to fly into Edmonton and drive one-way down to Coeur d’Alene. Too bad it turns out you cannot fly from Fresno Yosemite International Airport to Edmonton without changing planes someplace horrific, like San Francisco. In fact, you cannot fly anywhere outside the continental US from Fresno via a direct flight. Methinks Fresno is getting a tad big for its britches with the whole “International” moniker.
Oh hey, it turns out anyone can call themselves “International” if they have the ability to handle international aviation traffic, regardless of whether they actually offer any international flights.
From now on please address me as Ms. Sheila International Livingston. I have the ability to handle international travel. I simply choose not to exercise it very often.
- No cars, sorry. Canadian vehicles spontaneously combust at the US border. Or something.
I attempted to book a one-way rental car from Edmonton to Coeur d’Alene so we can drive through the gorgeous Jasper and Banff National Parks. This is impossible to do online so I called the Expedia customer service number and explained what I wanted to do. I told the woman I could drop the car off either at the Spokane airport or possibly Seattle, thinking Seattle is a bigger airport so maybe I would have better luck if I expanded my car-dropping options.
I asked if there was some weird law that does not allow rental cars to cross the border if it a one-way trip. She took all of my information, did not answer my question, keyed in a bunch of things and…
Told me exactly what the website told me: there is no way to rent a cars for a one-way trip from Edmonton to the US. I repeated my “weird law” question, in response to which she had no idea.
Is it not logical for persons employed to assist travelers with their travel plans to know the border crossing rules? Should she not have known there is no way to rent a car for a one-way trip in the US from Canada even before she started to key things in?
She did not offer any travel alternatives so, in the spirit of giving her the opportunity to provide me with some actual assistance, I asked for suggestions as to how to accomplish my goal of getting from Edmonton back to the US: she suggested I fly.
When I reminded her I would be leaving Edmonton by car to drive through the National Parks, ending up two thirds of the way back to Idaho in the car, she said I should drive back to Edmonton and fly back to the US.
Because that makes perfect sense. Hell, even I figured out after I hung up that, if I were going to fly, it is much closer to drive from Banff to the Calgary airport and fly back to the US from there rather than drive all the way back to Edmonton.
Expedia.com customer service review: Grade F.
- Only rich people can sleep in the National Parks. Anyone can drive through Banff and Jasper National Parks but there are no inexpensive motels for sleeping. The minimum price for a one night stay is $150. There are a few less expensive places that call themselves “rustic” but customer reviews note things like determined spiders and disappearing staff who do not answer the phone and cannot be found anywhere on the premises when a new problem arises.
I will gladly pay more to stay in a nice place with a nice view with pleasant and attentive staff. Beside, when am I ever going to have the opportunity to see these fabulous Parks? I may as well do it in style. Not $500/night style like the Fairmont Banff Springs, but $150/night will be just fine thank you.
- What to do once we get there? My 81 year old mom has a bum knee and cannot do a lot of walking. It is hard to plan outings not knowing what is there and what requires hiking to get to an appropriate place to view the Big Important Thing vs. what we can drive right up to. Thankfully my brother Gene has done the Parks and will email me ideas for outings that are not too strenuous. Whew!
Perhaps there is a reason I never take real vacations. I must have planned one in the past and subsequently blocked out the nightmare that is the planning phase.
Why is it that when I know EXACTLY what I want, it cannot be done that way? It happens with shopping, too. When I know exactly what I want, it is not available. In fact, they do not even make it any more. At least with travel I CAN actually get there from here, it just costs a million dollars and takes three times as long as it should.
_______________________________
Note to Mom: Do not think for one minute about cancelling the trip just because the planning is a pain in the ass. WE ARE GOING. Dust off your Barbie Boobs and get out the suitcase!
