Tomorrow is the final extension deadline for filing your 2007 personal income taxes.
Yeah, I am talking to you. You who have not yet provided your tax information to your accountant yet think there is still plenty of time to get it done.
You, small thinker, who do not factor in to your imaginary timeline all the other last-minute filers who also just dropped off their stuff.
Hm, who shall I work on first?
- Impersonal Procrastinator Guy,
- Flakey Florence O’Lakey, or
- The Happy Harringtons.
Let me tell you a little bit about each of them first then you help me decide.
Impersonal Procrastinator Guy mails in his info the week before the final extension deadline. It consists of a stack of check stubs for the entire year (which were ready to send to me January 1st, after he wrote the last 2007 check), 1099’s and other statements he clearly received back in January, and nothing else. No personal note, no summary of the aforementioned check stubs (did I mention there were about 300 550 checks to enter and categorize?), no box of chocolates to acknowledge his trespass upon our good graces, and, most importantly, no payroll information for his one employee I need every year but always have to go back and request because he never provides it on the first go-round.
So I contact Impersonal Procrastinator Guy’s payroll dude, Old Cranky Guy, who ignores my email and first two phone calls but finally returns my third call -- the one where I say it would be such a shame if our mutual client received a penalty simply because I was unable to obtain his payroll information on time -- to say he cannot simply give me that information. When I remind him he has provided it to us every year for the past ten years or so he says, “Yes, but I had specific permission from the client to do so each time!” I hold the phone away from my ear as he spews this at great volume.
I want to ask him if he even bothered to consult the file to confirm he has provided this info to us in the past, as I indicated in my email and voice messages.
I want to ask him why he did not simply call the client for permission or call me back to say, sure, no problem, but please have the client call me to say it is okay first.
I want to ask him politely to sit on it and rotate.
Instead, I put a smile in my voice and tell him that is no problem because I contacted Helpful Hannah, Impersonal Procrastinator Guy’s assistant, that very morning to explain what I needed so she should be contacting him any minute to request the info herself.
Flaky Florence O’Lakey had a death in the family and was so discombobulated she could not get it together until now. This is very sad. This makes me want to do everything I can to get her returns done on time.
But wait, déjà vu? I check the file to discover she brings her info in at the last minute every year, even in years when everyone is perfectly healthy and alive. I suddenly feel less charitable. She does, however, apologize for her tardiness, acknowledge I may not be able to get it done on time, and thanks me profusely each year when I do.
The Happy Harringtons have a lot going on. They have their own businesses, a few rentals, some K-1 income, and various other tax things going on but nothing too complicated. The Happy Harringtons return my emails and phone calls promptly and laugh at how inept they are at bookkeeping, yet they are truly quite organized. The Happy Harringtons send homemade goodies every year at Christmas.
So what do you think? Who wins the tax preparation lottery?
Yeah, it’s kind of a no-brainer, isn’t it?
