GetSheila

10 Things I Learned Installing Ceiling Fixtures

I plugged the very last hole in my ceiling this weekend with a big fat fan. Hurrah! Take THAT, PG&E. A few things I learned along the way:

1. CEILING FANS. Installing your first ceiling fan is hard. Installing a ceiling fan after that, not so much. Installing an expensive ceiling fan after having installed a cheap one is even easier because it comes with all kinds of helpful things, like a hook to hold the motor up near the ceiling while you, lonely installer with only two hands, connect the wiring. The hook also supports one end of the 25lb motor while you tighten the screws on the other side. 
   
   My boss told me more expensive fans are easier to install but I did not believe him. Oh me of little faith.
   
   
2. LIGHT FIXTURES. Installing a mere light fixture after installing ceiling fans is a cakewalk.
   
   
3. ATTICS. Attics are dirty. And hot. And lack proper walkways and lighting. But if you are installing a ceiling fan, you MUST go up there to inspect or install extra bracing to support the weight of the fan. If you do not, the fan WILL come down one day and squash whatever (or whomever) happens to be below it at the time.
   
   
4. DRILLING. Never stand directly beneath your drill when drilling into the ceiling unless you want plaster dust stuck to your by-now sweaty face, neck, upper chest, and in your bra.
   
   Tip: Drill a hole in the bottom of a disposable plastic drinking cup and insert your drill from the bottom when drilling into the ceiling. The cup will catch any falling debris and keep the dust under control. (Gotta love that Amy Matthews and the DIY Network.)
   
   
5. TOO LONG IS BETTER THAN TOO SHORT. Never shorten anything - not chain, not wires, not anything - until you are completely finished and know FOR CERTAIN you do not need that extra length.
   
   
6. CHAIN LINK. Opening and closing chain links is an exercise in frustration. I found a site that told me to hold one end with pliers (after protecting it with a towel so you do not damage the finish), then insert a screw driver into the other side and use leverage to bend it up or down. This worked, sort of, but I could not get it open quite far enough to fit easily over the big ends to which I had to attach it nor could I quite get it closed back perfectly with no gaps. Bother.
   
   
7. REMOTE CONTROL CEILING FANS. These suckers are a nightmare to install because the receiver, extra wires, and J-hook all have to fit into the tiny canopy at the ceiling with virtually no wiggle room. The bracket is only about the size of the ceiling opening and can edge up into the opening if you are not careful, making it hard to get the canopy aligned with the mounting screws that are now practically embedded in the ceiling.
   Also, many (all?) of these fans are ONLY operated by the remote, i.e. no pull chains, so if the remote goes out, too bad. Or as in my case, if you cannot get it to turn on when you finish installation, you have no way to determine if it is a problem with the remote or the power connections without taking it all apart again.
   
   If I was going to have to take the GODDAMN fan apart one more time it was going back to the GODDAMN store. (See #10 and do as I say, not as I do.)
   
   
8. DRY FIT. Do as much as you can on the floor first. Dry fit anything that inserts into another part to find out BEFORE your neck is kinked and you have lost all blood flow to your fingers whether you need to maneuver around any protruding objects or wrap the wires a certain way to get everything to fit properly.
   
   
9. GOT POWER? Verify the fixture has power before putting on the pretty parts, like fan blades and glass shades, so you have less to take back off if you have troubleshooting to do.
   
   
10. PATIENCE, PATIENCE, PATIENCE. Patience is not only a virtue, it is a requirement when installing ceiling fixtures, with or without a fan. Take your time. Take breaks. Stay hydrated and have your party beverage of choice available when the job is done.
    

I cannot express how immensely gratifying it is to install ceiling fans and light fixtures myself. To someone who does this sort of thing all the time, that may seem silly, but I have a new skill now. I feel empowered and motivated and, um, OW…since when do I have muscles THERE?

Good thing I have a hot tub.

Have you installed any ceiling fixtures? Got any tips or stories?

Technorati Tags: install ceiling fan,install ceiling fixture,10 things

At last, a dining room light

Before:

After:

And the big picture:

I could not find a fixture I really loved so I settle for one I thought was kind of cute.

Once you have installed a ceiling fan, installing a light fixture is nothing. NOTHING. Unless of course it is a dangly one and the existing hole is not centered over where your table will be but you forget so you shorten both the chain and the wiring to the exact length you need and then have to re-lengthen everything so you can swag it over to the appropriate location and only barely, BARELY have enough wire to do the job.

Not that that happened to me or anything. Ahem.

The wall switch was already a dimmer so now I not only have light, I have MOOD light. Very groovy.

Here is what the original fixture looked like in all its gold plastic glory:

Yes, plastic, a fact I did not discover until I began cleaning it in preparation for paint. Those four hook-like things attach to the skinny part in the center for the sole purpose of holding more crystals, which I had already removed and cleaned:

I did get it painted:

But then I realized it would still be a curly, crystally, PLASTIC monstrosity no matter how much I tried to disguise it. Perhaps one day I will reattach all the crystals and sell it on Craigslist.

Have you done any home improvement projects lately?

Technorati Tags: dining room,chandelier,install ceiling fixture,365days

If I only get 3% again this year, somebody’s new tan will be hanging from my wall

The Kahunas are in Hawaii this week. Yes, Hawaii. At a “conference,” which just happens to coincide with their friends and loved ones also being over there. Things I heard before they left:

BIG KAHUNA: It’s my in-laws’ 50th wedding anniversary. They are paying for everyone’s flight and lodging. It just happens to be the same week as the conference.

BUFF KAHUNA: I am using frequent flier miles so our flights are free.

TRANSLATION: We are still broke from building this brand new office last year. At your review next week, try not to focus on our fabulous new tans when we tell you everyone is getting a measly 3% raise again this year regardless of how hard (or not) they worked.

Perhaps I should practice flaying skin from a fish this week. Just so I am ready.

Technorati Tags: annual review,raises

I conquered the foam

Did you know spas sometimes get foamy? Not clean, fun, bubble bathy foamy but rather fly up in your face, ring around the tub, slimy green bits foamy.

The Internet is less than helpful:

Squidoo says: Extra foamy water in your hot tub could mean that it is too soft, contaminated, or has a high Total Dissolved Solids (TDS) level. To fix extra foamy water add a stain and scale preventative, pH or Alkalinity Up and sanitizers to the water in your hot tub.

At this point I was completely confused. Which one do I add? My testing strips say everything is in balance. I kept searching and found Your Spa Guy:

Check your water balance first. (Did it. No problems) A high bromine level can cause foam. If the water is in balance, the filter may be due for a cleaning. (Aha!) Your filter should catch all of the oils or detergents that can cause foamy spa water. After balancing the water and cleaning the filter, try some water clarifier. This will coagulate all of the detergents together and so they can be filtered out.

I cleaned the filter first. It is kind of fun. You take it out and hose it off like crazy with the “jet” setting on your hose attachment, watching all the dull gray stuff you did not notice was there wash away to reveal the pretty white color you are supposed to see.

As an added boost, I tossed in some clarifier, conveniently found at my Raley’s grocery store, which carries a full line of Spa-Kem products. Handy.

The Internet also said I should “shock” the water once a month (or was it once a week?) and “up” this and “down” that. It is too overwhelming and confusing. I had Pool School in the early spring and my spa girl told me to simply drain and refill the spa if things get out of whack.

I bought a $30 pool vacuum hose with which to drain it. MUCH faster than draining with a skinny garden hose. It empties out in about twenty minutes. A little scrubbing as it drains, about an hour to refill, then a mere two to three hour wait for it to heat back up.

I know I keep saying this to anyone who will listen but I had no idea I would love my spa so much. Now if I could only get the Shorty McShortersons spa light to stay on rather than come on, turn off ten minutes later, turn on again with no prompting, flicker, then finally turn off for good for the evening, my spa experience would be complete.

If it turns on and off during the night when the cover is on but there is no one around to see it, did it really happen?

___________________________________________

P.S. I welcome your jacuzzi maintenance tips!

Technorati Tags: jacuzzi maintenance,tubbing

Look what I did Saturday!

THE DINING ROOM!

THE FAMILY ROOM!

THE KITCHEN!

What, you expected more? Yeah, me too. I blame these guys:

They are going back to Lowes as soon as possible. Triton is a 52” fan with a remote control. Cool, right? Um, no. It ONLY works by remote control, and a tacky yellowy plastic one at that. In other words, no pull chains. It was a bitch to install with the tiny cup at the ceiling, which is supposed to hide the bracket, the 4 feet of wiring (no exaggeration), and the remote receiver (which takes up half the allotted space all by itself.) Plus, the bracket has a hangy downy part where you would normally attach a downrod and you have to slide the cup over that Just. So. to get past the screws that stick out for GOD KNOWS WHY because, if you don’t, and you try to force it, you are essentially thrusting the bracket up into the ceiling.

Which explains how I damaged the ceiling drywall in the guest bedroom, where I first tried to install this fan the other day. But hey, I learned a valuable lesson: put all the parts together on the floor first to see how they fit and if they are going to require finesse when you are craning your neck upside down and wondering why in hell God did not make Man like the monkey, with opposable thumbs at the end of all four limbs and the limberness to balance on one foot and raise the other one up there to hold the fan while you finagle with two other hands.

Oh, and it does not work. Did I mention that? I overcame all that CRAP and the fan would not turn on. I verified the power was on, the wall switch was on, the receiver was set to the same frequency as the remote blah blah blah. Effing “semi-flush mount” fan with your effing remote control and your effing 4 feet of wiring.

I got it all back in the box like brand new, except the part where I threw away all the plastic baggies months ago and cannot find my receipt. I am sure it is well past Lowes’ 3 month return policy. No problemo. I will still get store credit, which I will turn around and promptly spend on more crap for the house. Everybody wins.

The other fan is a tiny 30” Breezeway I thought I would install in the kitchen because it does get rather hot in there and wouldn’t it be nice to have a tiny fan up there in addition to a light? Except there is no bracing up there to hold a fan and I just don’t have the energy to deal with that right now.

Perhaps I should buy stock in Lowes. Oh wait, I have no money for that because I spend it all at Lowes. It is a vicious circle.

Technorati Tags: install ceiling fan,home improvement, 365days

Trying Live Writer as my new blog editor

Did I tell you I switched to a new blog editing software? Do you care?

No to both questions, I am guessing, but it is rather exciting to me. As well as a tad stressful, but that is just because change is scary and that part is over now THANK GOD.

I used to use ecto. I tried it because Wil Wheaton recommended it ages ago on his blog and he is funny. That is pretty much all the criteria I needed. What I did not realize at the time is he was using the Mac version. I do not have a Mac. I never will have a Mac, mainly because Steve Jobs is the Devil but also because we have PC’s at the office and I like free software.

My screen did not look all pretty like the one you see when you follow the ecto link above. It was functional and had the basic add-ins I use but it was just not sexy. I could live with that until two things happened:

1. It stopped reading my blog theme so I could no longer see what my post would look like on my blog until I actually posted it. It was just a big screen of text with no header or sidebars.
   
2. The software creators parted ways and stopped supporting the Windows version of ecto.
   

As for #1, I had to manually set up the code for ecto way back when to format my drafts so I can see what they will look like on my blog before actually posting them. That was almost two years ago. I am not a programmer and all I remember about setting it up back them was I had a bunch of trial and error to figure it out. My coding is all still there yet it no longer displays correctly. I have neither the time nor the patience to figure this out, especially when there are so many other blog editors out there these days.

As for #2, the new website says the creator is still fully supporting ecto 2.x but the program is no longer for sale and he has no plans to develop ecto 3. The last ecto update I have is dated July 2007. Again, after two years and with so many other blog editors out there, I think I got my original $15 investment’s worth. And besides, most of the other ones are free!

So I have been posting with Live Writer for almost two weeks now. I rather like it. It recognized my blog theme automatically. No coding! My only peeve is it does not keep a list of my tags like ecto did so I can simply choose one I previously used. Instead, I have to manually type tags with each post, which requires remembering how I tagged things previously. For example, “install ceiling fan” or “ceiling fan install?” One must maintain some semblance or order, you know.

Do you blog? What blog editing software do you use? Do you have a separate desktop program or do you simply use the online editor that comes with your blog, like TypePad, Blogger, WordPress, etc? The switch was so easy I would do it again in a heartbeat if I found something I liked better. Do tell!

Technorati Tags: blog editor,windows live writer

The Guest Room

It has all the essentials: bed…desk…

…nightstands (gotta love white sheets and sisal rope)…reading lights…

…and how about that ceiling fan!

‘Tis a thing of beauty.

I tried to install a different fan in the guest room a few days ago, only to damage the sheetrock around the electrical box opening. Not much, but enough so I could not install that particular fixture without repairing the damage.

The solution? Put up a fan with a wider bracket that floats right over that ole damage plus a nice big canopy to hide it all away.

I love it when a plan comes together. Now all I need is something on the walls and the room will be complete.

Any suggestions?

Technorati Tags: guest room,install ceiling fan, 365days

My Doppelganger

I have my RSS feeds set to search for any mention of me on the Internet. It did not start out as a narcissistic venture. When I wrote for Medium Dreams, a blog about the TV show Medium, I searched for the actors so I would not miss any articles, pictures, or e-conversations about them. I added my name and my blog’s name just for fun (and perhaps a tiny bit of narcissistic pleasure.) When I stopped writing for Medium Dreams, I canceled the actor searches but kept mine.

Lately it keeps finding me. Meet Sheila Livingston:

Photo Copyright 2008 Mark Vancleave

If this chick does not stop using my name, I will have to report her to the Name Police. But wait, she is older than me so technically I and using her name. Crap. If we both go around using the same name, how will people tell us apart?!

Oh, that’s easy. I do not wear jewelry.

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It is only sheetrock

The best thing to come out of the fan adventure – aside from finally having light in my bedroom and the bonus of a fan – is that I have my Toolbelt Diva* confidence back.

I lost it for a while. I am not sure when it happened, exactly, but it was shortly after I discovered my house has aluminum wiring. First I lost the motivation to do home improvements projects. Next I went through home improvement depression that sounded something like this:

• I cannot hang a ceiling fan by myself. I am intimidated by electrical wiring. It is physically impossible without a second pair of hands. It’s too hard.
• I cannot access my attic. I am afraid to get up get up there. It’s too hard.
• I have too many projects to do. I have to learn a completely new skill for each one. There are too many. I am in decision coma. It’s too hard.

A bit of a pattern there. On the off chance you do not recognize it, it is called a pity party. I wallowed in it for the better part of ten months.

I am so done with that.

I know I can do anything, I just sometimes lack motivation. So last night I tried to install another ceiling fan, this one bigger and with a remote control. Guess what? I could not finish the project due to sheetrock damage that occurred during the installation and made it impossible. But THAT’S OKAY. Now I know exactly how to hang the fan so I will simply put it up in another room.

As for the ceiling, I can either repair the damage and hang another fan or stick a light fixture up there to hide the two inch pie-slice of missing sheetrock and plug it with expanding  foam insulation. No big deal.

I know you can do anything, too. Go on, do a project and tell me about it here. I look forward to your adventures.

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*I would link to the Toolbelt Diva TV show, but it appears to have been canceled and the network eighty-sixed the webpage along with it.

Technorati Tags: home improvement,toolbelt diva,install ceiling fan

I (thumps chest) Have Made Fan!

Behold the Fan of Destiny…and my friend Micky, who helped me install it.

Here we are (blurry, sorry), just so gosh darn proud of ourselves. Not to mention happy that we were finally done. The entire job took 5 hours from start to finish, but that included a trip to Lowes for an extra part followed by a trip to OSH where we actually found said part and three trips up into the attic to mess about with the former owner’s method of anchoring the fan (unorthodox, yet effective.) And perhaps two or three iced tea breaks between phases:

Phase 1: Remove old hardware and install new brackets and anchor bolt.

Phase 2: Hang motor and connect electrical wires. Turn power on briefly to test fan motor: success!

Phase 3: Install light kit and fan blades. Omigod it actually works!

I cannot believe that tiny switch on the wall actually turns on the ceiling fan and light. I was like Tom Hanks in Castaway in the hotel room after his rescue: on…off…on…off…on…off. It’s magic!

The fan runs like a dream with no noise whatsoever and no wobbles.

I must thank Micky for helping me today. I could not have done it without you, toots. It is so nice to have a second pair of hands and a cool head when the effing nut will not turn on the effing anchor bolt because of the effing leftover paint residue from when I had my ceilings sprayed. We make a good team. Thanks Micky!

And here I am: clean.

Just so you don’t go away picturing me all dirty and sweaty.

Technorati Tags: home improvement,install ceiling fan,micky, 365days