GetSheila

O Christmas Tree

I got a wild hair and put up a tree last weekend. It is fake, it was cheap, and I love it.

It is a bit of a Charlie Brown tree. It kind of leans to the left and I had to put it up on a box to give it bit more height. The box it came in days it is 6' tall but I do not think it is fair to count the one spindly branch sticking straight up for a foot above everything else since I had to bend it in half to get it to hold up my angel topper. *harumph*

Look! I got a cat for Christmas! Santa sure works fast. Oh wait, that's just Tiger. He like the little hills I made in the fake snow by placing balls of cotton underneath the tree skirt. He has yet to figure out they make great toys to bat around the room if you can just get them out from under the skirt. Let's hope he stays in the dark about that one.

I shall not attempt any outside decorations this year. This is my first tree since...I can't remember when. Baby steps.

What about you? Are you decorating for the holidays? Put your picture links here so we can check you out!

Tags: christmas tree, christmas 2007

Shopping Tip

I promised myself I was not going to even turn on my computer today much less post but I simply had to hop on to give you the hottest shopping tip of the season:

8:30am-9:00am on Sunday is THE best time to shop at Wal*Mart

You're welcome.

Tags: holiday shopping, walmart

10 Things I Learned From Thanksgiving

I hosted Thanksgiving at my place for the first time ever this year. I even cooked the bird all by meself. Here is what I learned from the day, in no particular order:

1. One mixing bowl for the Artisan mixer is not enough.
   
   My sister Kate gave me a KitchenAid mixer as a housewarming / birthday present a month ago. (Yes, she rocks.) I used it for the first time yesterday to make chocolate mousse. Now, to make mousse, you must whisk the egg whites to stiff peaks and separately beat the yolks until pale and creamy before adding various things like chocolate, coffee, sugar and rum before combining everything together to create a tiny bit of heaven. With only one bowl for the mixer, however, I had to mix up the yolk/chocolate concoction, transfer it to another bowl, then clean the mixing bowl before I could whip up the egg whites. NO GOOD. I have added a second mixing bowl to my Christmas list.
   
   
2. Chex Mix is a perfectly acceptable breakfast food.
   
   It is cereal, after all.
   
   
3. Moms are expert bird carcass cutter-uppers.
   
   I sort of watched to learn how to do it myself but I was too busy boxing up leftover care packages to pay close attention. Project for next year, or perhaps Christmas if we have a bird.
   
   
4. Try a new turkey carving method. It's fun!
   
   Instead of carving off slices of turkey breast - which is not easy and who wants shredded turkey on Thanksgiving? - remove the entire breast then cut it crosswise in one inch wide slices. You end up with short, fat slices of turkey rather than long thin ones. You still have to cut your turkey once it hits your plate anyway and this way you get big meaty pieces instead of thin insubstantial ones. And no stressing about what body part you might inadvertently cut off as you try to stand at the table and carve slices from the still-attached-to-the-bird turkey breast. 
   
   
5. Leaving mom's homemade fudge on the counter sliced into convenient bite-sized pieces is a mistake.
   
   Need I explain? No, I think not.
   
   
6. Stuffing and baking a turkey is so easy even I can do it.
   
   I cannot believe I have gone 43 years without ever having 1) made stuffing, or 2) cooked a turkey. It's so easy! I used Martha Stewart's Perfect Roast Turkey recipe. For the stuffing, I used my mom's recipe, which calls for butter, celery, onion, poultry seasoning, and bread cubes. That's it. Simple yet tasty, and with no strange foreign objects like meat or fruit. ::shudder::
   
   
7. Standing all day makes your feet hurt.
   
   If it does not make YOUR feet hurt, you do not sit at a desk all day five days a week. Or you get regular exercise. Or you are an automaton. Whatever. My feet hurt! Whaa! Thank god for ouzo.
   
   
8. My oven fits an 18" roasting pan widthwise, but not depthwise.
   
   This is not a problem, except when you get to the part of Martha Stewart's recipe that says "Place turkey, legs first, into oven." I compensated by turning the pan every 30 minutes as I basted the bird.
   
   
9. My kitchen is too small.
   
   Y'all already know I do not like my kitchen very much. Now that I have cooked an entire Thanksgiving dinner in there, accompanied by both my mom and my sister at various points throughout the process, I officially hate it. Though hate is such a strong word. Let us just say I have lost all respect for it as a place in which to prepare food, cook it, and clean up afterwards. Oh if only money grew on trees.
   
   
10. Entertaining by yourself, though enjoyable, is not recommended.
    
    I thoroughly enjoyed the day. I loved the sense of accomplishment I got from doing all the cooking by myself. I enjoyed the process of the cooking, too. What I did not enjoy was the part where I only got to sit down three times during the entire day: once to have my tea in the morning before preparations began; next at the table to eat the oh so lovingly prepared meal; and finally after cleaning up the dishes and packing leftovers for mom and sis to take home. And then everybody went home. Not really, but that's how it felt. Where did the day go? Of course I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

P.S. This is what I am having for dinner.

It seemed like a good idea at the time but I feel a sugar coma coming on. ...send...protein...gaaaaaaaaaaaah...

Tags: 10 things, thanksgiving

Backyard Pruning Fun

Last weekend I bought three 4-drawer dressers from IKEA to match my current MALM bed and floating nightstands.

That sounds simple enough. Keep in mind, however, that IKEA furniture comes flat-packed, meaning I had to 1) get them into my car, 2) get them out of my car and into the house, and 3) assemble them. I had my friend Astrid for #1, thank god. Bless my little heart, I unloaded them all by meself and put all three of the blasted things together the very next day because, clearly, I am insane. My lower back has been paying for it the past week.

So yesterday, in celebration of my back feeling like it might just recover at some point in the hopefully not too distant future, I pruned three trees in the backyard and moved a bunch of rocks around.

Woo!

But forget about all that. My body is my temple and I worship at the altar of Just Do It. Here are my backyard results:

This was once a Meyer lemon tree. If you look closely, you can see I left one lemon to prove it. Don't be sad. It will grow back. In the meantime, I have two big bags of lemons. Lemonade anyone?

I used to think Pepe the donkey was tacky. Now I think he is cute. Kind of the way I used to think about my Prius. If I ever have a bar-b-que, I plan to move him into the patio and use his saddle buckets as beer coolers.

Less cute and in fact downright terrifying is this little guy. I know garden gnomes are supposed to look scary to frighten away the evil spirits, but I think one of said evil spirits broke through the hole where his hand used to be and is now walking this earth. I think I will plug the hole with a flower or perhaps some moss.

This is the mystery plant I think I mentioned in an earlier post. It is everywhere along the back border. I hope it flowers soon so I can figure out what it is. The leaves are awfully pretty but too small, I think, to be a Day Lily. Time will tell.

Speaking of mystery plants, I found this parasitic vine thing wrapped around my sugar plum tree. See the small vine wrapped around the larger branch like a candy cane stripe? Here are the three stripe indentations it left on the tree trunk:

Can you see them? The tree seems fine so either I caught it early enough or it is a friendly "oh pardon me while I use you to climb towards the sun" parasite, not a destructive "let me strangle you as I suck the life force out of you" one. I chopped it off at the base just to be safe and will keep an eye on the little bugger from now on.

You cannot see things very well in this small photo, but this is the view if you are standing at the butchered Meyer lemon tree looking back along the back fence. In the far corner, I discovered a dwarf avocado tree! Good thing whoever planted it left a stick with the name tag on it. I was about to chop it down as a weed.

Yet another plant to research when to harvest the fruit, how not to kill it, etc. ::sigh::

My backyard photos are on Flickr if you would like to see them a bit larger.

Tags: gardening, pruning, garden gnome

You mean they weren't there just to chat?

Sooooooo...the writer's strike. If you want to understand why the writers are striking, read that linked post. It is a tad lengthy (in blog years, not normal reading material years) but worth the investment if you want to understand the big picture. I found it via Wil Wheaton's blog, where he references a few more of the author John Rogers' posts in the fifth paragraph. Follow Wil's links for more light reading on the strike from an insider in the know.

I am one hundred percent behind the writers. Yes, I love my TV and I will miss it when it begins to suck great donkey's balls after they run out of backlogged material, but that is why god made books and DVD's (on which the writers are getting hosed, too) and the Internet. Besides, I will always have my Law & Order: Criminal Intent reruns. Fat Goren or skinny Goren, I never get tired of seeing him in action. And Eames? I did not fully appreciate Kathryn Erbe's performance until she went on maternity leave and they temporarily replaced her with someone less smooth. But I digress.

Forget the notion that rich Hollywood writers are just whining for even more than their standard hundreds of thousands. That is not what it is about (and they don't all make that much.) The real issue is obtaining a fair price for the product, plain and simple. To Hell with the fantasy notion of "profitable." I took a class on profit participation once and it was quite the eye opener. Read Hollywood accounting and Monkey Points for more insight. The short version: the studio can make any movie a loser with a little creative accounting so anyone who signed on to participate in the net profits is out of luck. Participation in gross profits in the way to go, but hey, guess what? Only the really big players have the clout to negotiate a gross profit deal.

While we are on the subject of smoke and mirrors, am I the only one who grew up thinking celebrities came on talk shows just to chat? I used to live for The Merv Griffin Show after school every day. I thought it was so cool how he was close personal friends with so many celebrities who were down-homey enough to just drop by. They led such exciting lives! They always seemed to be involved in the most interesting projects.

I was so naive it never once occurred to me celebrities only came on such shows specifically to promote a current project, it was work and not fun for them, and most had never met the host before.

The magical pixie dust of Hollywood turns out to be leftover glitter from last Halloween's Dr. Frank-N-Furter costume. Sad.

Tags: talk shows, writers strike

E-Coli is Not My Friend

I did not actually have E-coli, I just thought I did. Of course my accounting degree coupled with my Googling skills qualified me to make that diagnosis. The doctor, on the other hand, said it was probably not E-coli but neither was it simply the flu so would I please poop in this cup?

Tip: When asked to poop in a cup, put a large bowl in the toilet, poop in that, then pour or otherwise maneuver said poop into the teeny, tiny, way too small, who designed these stupid things?, plastic cup provided by the lab. Then burn the bowl.

That reminds me of the time one of the partners at my first real accounting job brought his dog to the office. The dog promptly pooped on the conference room carpet so the partner cleaned it up by using two spatulas from the office kitchen and then put them in the dishwasher. The office manager waited for him to leave, then grabbed the offending utensils and chucked them in the bin.

But back to me: I used to think old people don't like to go to the doctor because they are afraid they will be told something bad about their health. Though that may be true, I suspect it might also have something to do with the fact that doctors never seem to know what is wrong with you.

I gave them my blood, I pooped in a cup, yet still they have no idea why I was so sick. "You must have had some sort of virus."

Ya think?

So tell me, what is the difference between "the flu" and "some sort of virus?" I thought the flu was some sort of virus, yet I supposedly did not have the flu. And now my doctor wants me to have a colonoscopy.

Let us think this through. My lab tests all came back normal. I got better simply by lying around and drinking lots of fluids. Yet now I should let them stick a camera up my butt.

I DON'T THINK SO.

I think I will try eating a more balanced diet first.

Tags: doctors are not god, food poisoning, poop in a cup

Sunbathing Turkey

Remember this sunbathing turkey from last year? It still cracks me up. Do let me know if you give it a whirl this year. Pictures please!

Tags: sunbathing turkeydirty turkey

The Poking Pillow

Behold the comfiest of pillows.

Side 1:

Side 2:

Squishy enough to fill the space behind the small of your back yet not so big it throws off the delicate butt-to-chair ratio.

There is one small problem, however. A few short days after falling in love with this pillow, it started poking me.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Apparently the oh-so-malleable, conform-to-any-shape filling is down. Or goose. Or some other substance that was once attached to a bird.

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Really, if they are going to stuff feathers into a pillow, should they not use some sort of industrial strength liner to prevent the pointy little things from making a break for freedom?

My hip new pillow now looks like it belongs on grandma's couch:

Yes, I wrapped it in a cream colored throw I bought a hundred years ago during my "Country" phase.

Comfort over fashion. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Tags: ikea pillow