I always thought I was required to attend school because it was important. Then one day I asked myself WHY it was important. Was it because the public school system cares about my education? Not missing a single day of school is rewarded with a plaque at graduation - A PLAQUE! - so that must be it, right?
But that cannot be it, can it? Why? Why is it important? Maybe it is because I proved I had the fortitude to keep illness at bay enough to drag my sorry, sick ass to school so as not to miss a single moment of state-funded education, yet thereby exposing all of my fellow students to my germitude. Or perhaps it is because I opted not to attend that family funeral so as to maintain the perfection of my attendance record, yet thereby broke my grandmother's heart and branded myself the family black sheep for all eternity.
No! It is because the public school system receives its money from the public coffers based on attendance records, that is why. Less kids attending school means less money from the government.
I felt cheap and naive when I discovered this, and that was just a few short years ago.
Now that I am an adult, with friends I knew as teenagers who are now teachers, I think, "OMG, were MY teachers former partyers that produced a degree suddenly granting them instant respectability and the authorization to influence the minds of today's youth and tomorrow's leaders? OMG!"
And then I think, "Thank god I never had children."
Followed shortly by "OMG, I still have to live in a world with these people and their progeny in charge, OMG!"
And people wonder why I drink.
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In case you were wondering, no, I did not receive a plaque at graduation to commemorate my flawless attendance. In fact, I ditched school one whole day my Freshman year in high school. A friend and I walked the two miles to my house because I had a single, working mom so the house was empty. We spent the day calling car dealerships to inquire as to the pricing of hot, fast cars. Oh, the wickedness.
...
Shut up.
Tags: 10 things, school attendance
