GetSheila

I said he should be in the circus. He looked at his fellow drywall finishers and said, "I am."

How do they walk on those? Not just walk, but WORK. Maybe it is like wearing high heels, only without the bad arches.

 

More importantly, look how fabulous my freshly scraped and third-coated ceiling is! Oh, excuse me. The ceiling is called a "lid" but I feel pretentious calling it that. Do not let that stop YOU though. Use it in a sentence tomorrow. I dare you.

What are all those reflections in the picture? Is that drywall dust? Did I breath that in the whole time I was there? Ack!

Thank you to Chris for posing so patiently. (Does everyone under thirty look twelve or is it just me?)

P.S. Did you notice the "before" wall colors? Preeeeeeetttttty.

Tags: homeowner

Wallpaper! IN THE BATHROOM!

Why would anyone put a wall covering made of paper in a room that gets wet every day?

My plan for today was to meet the sheetrock/acoustic ceiling scraper/painter guy at the house at 9:00 to get his guys started on the job, then proceed to work. I never made it to the office.

Here's why:

 

Aside from the wallpaper being hideous, why on earth would anyone put that pattern in a bathroom? I can see it in a 70's era kitchen, but a tiny toilet closet? Then instead of oh, say...taking it down, somebody decided to paint over it. Twice. Notice the lovely green shade around the edges of the pattern before the brown coat takes over.

The wallpaper was not the original wall covering in there. Somebody CHOSE it ON PURPOSE. They covered up a perfectly good textured wall. How do I know this? Because I spent all afternoon scraping to reveal it. (No, my contractor does not do wallpaper. Actually he does, but it's expensive or there wasn't enough time based on our original timeline or a big red pony ran away with his homework. I'm not really sure.)

I really should exercise more or at least stretch every day because all I can say after an afternoon of scraping is: ow.

Tags: homeowner

Somebody's Crap

I packed up the rest of my crap today. How did I get so much crap? It is a mystery to me because I assure you I throw away my crap at every opportunity. Just ask my mom. She will tell you I throw out PERFECTLY GOOD THINGS that SOMEBODY CAN USE.

I try to tell her Somebody does not want the fake hair I bought one year for Halloween but she insists it is useful to Someone and should therefore not be thrown out. By the way, the terms "donated to a charitable organization" and "thrown out" mean the same thing in my mother's vocabulary. Granted, by the time my mother is ready to let go of anything, it is in such bad shape it cannot be "donated" and must be "thrown out," so perhaps that is the source of her confusion.

"Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without." The person who coined that phrase obviously had no concept of what it means to be a pack rat. My new motto is: Use it up, wear it out, make it do, THEN THROW IT OUT.

Or perhaps donate it if you can find a charitable organization that will take your dishwasher-melted Tupperware and turn it into a lovely bud vase it can sell for a smart profit at its thrift store.

STATS:

• Days to homeownership: Less than 1
• Days until the paint dries: 5
• Days until the moving truck arrives: 7

Pass the ouzo.

Tags: homeowner, moving

Jes the Facts, Part Deux

1. I close on the house Monday because the people who told me I would close on the house last week are big fat liars. In all fairness, they did try. (So no pics until after the painting, probably. Maybe I will snap a few Monday morning.)
2. Good thing I close on Monday because I am meeting the ceiling scraper/painters there at 9:00am.
3. Pad Thai without *kick* still provides two solid days of meals for me because 1) it is food, and 2) someone else prepared it.
4. I finished Harry Pooter (Yes I know it is spelled wrong. It was a typo but it cracked me up so I left it. Hee!) at 12:30am Saturday morning. I am so sad it is over. Oh how I hope she writes new stories about the descendants. Or maybe she is sick of Harry Potter and his world. I hate endings! Even when they are happy they are still ENDINGS. Bah.
5. I finished the C to S corporation tax provision journal entry Friday at 4:30pm. Hooray!
6. Yes, I have in fact washed my hair since my last Jes' the Facts post.

Happy Weekend!

Tags: homeowner, lists

Freaky Friday 7/27/2007

The week in freak:

• FURRY REAPER. Oscar the cat predicts when nursing home patients are going to die by curling up next to them before they expire. Or does he? (Shh...Skepchick is sick Sick SICK of hearing about the Death Cat so keep it down, will you?)
• FORMER TELEVANGELIST TAMMY FAYE BAKKER MESSNER DEAD AT 65 of cancer. She was possessed by the devil, hence the paranormal tie-in. (If you don't believe me, check out the picture at the link. Scary!) via
• CHRISTIANS MAD AT HARRY POTTER. Again. Though the byline shows a different name, the article was clearly written by Rita Skeeter. And you know what that means. via
• THE PSYCHIC, THE RABBIT AND THE POLICE CHIEF. Okay, don't even bother to click through. I felt compelled to include this link because it is simply the most boring story involving a psychic I have ever read. The psychic is not actually named and, in fact, barely mentioned but the police chief's mom is very excited to see her son on a TV show. via
• NORWAY PRINCESS TALKS TO ANGELS. No word on whether they talk back. via
• SYLVIA SEZ! Psychic Children Day on the Montel Williams Show.

And some nonparanormal schlock thrown in just for fun:

• 9 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOUR BRAIN
• A SIGN TO OUR VISITORS FROM OUTER SPACE?
• 100 UNSEXIEST MEN OF 2007

Tags: freaky friday

Jes' the facts...

...because I am too discombobulated to string sentences together at this time:

• I close on the house today. (SQUEE!)
• I started Harry Potter #7 last night. (DON'T TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS.)
• I need to wash my hair. (It's almost like I need to do it every few days on a regular basis. Weird.)
• I have almost completed my C-to-S corporation conversion project. (All but the built-in gains effing tax provision journal entry!)
• Not all Thai food is created equal. (Pad Thai without a teensy bit of *kick* is just WRONG.)
• My daily 110 minute round-trip commute, which I used to find relaxing, now seems like an eternity. Everything is relative, I suppose.

Pictures of the popcorn ceiling tomorrow before they go away! Woo! Oh wait, tomorrow is Freaky Friday. Maybe the pics will wait until El Weekendo.

Tags: homeowner, lists

Power? We don't need no stinkin' power!

Huh. I totally missed the big power outage today. One of the affected companies was SixApart, which hosts my blog. So sorry if you had trouble accessing me today.

Meanwhile, I was busy researching the mechanics of converting a C corporation with a big ole tax provision to an S corporation, and the journal entries and footnote disclosures that go along with it.

Can you feel the excitement?

I admit I did find it a teensy bit fun. A puzzle! Where do all the pieces go? Hey look, the appraisal assigns $100,000 to an asset that does exist in corporeal form but is not on the books. Wonder where that went...equipment expense? I guess it's better than having a $100,000 asset on the books with no corresponding physical asset to be found. I'm hungry. Did I see cookies in the kitchen? The teapot is near the cookies. I think I need more tea.

Concentration seems to be a problem for me lately. Or perhaps I just need to keep the cookies in my office.

Tags: tax follies

Moving Day Approacheth

Surprise! I may be moving sooner than I had planned.

The sellers called my realtor from Ohio to see if I might want to close on the house this week. (Ohio is apparently on the way to Chicago, which is on the way to their final destination of New England. I do not envy them that trip. But then, you know how I hate to travel.)

I had planned to close August 1st for the sole purpose of pushing my first house payment out an extra month to October 1st, but I will trade the earlier September 1st payment for the convenience of getting the acoustic ceiling scrapers in so the house will be move in ready by the end of the month. Whee!

I stopped by the house today with my realtor. It is quite big without any furniture. I gave my sofa to my mom so I am going to feel like a college student with my paltry chair and ottoman. That is, until I visit IKEA! Woo! I love that store. Why must it be three hours away? But wait! It will only be TWO hours away now. That is practically right next door.

To the fans of the purple/blue wall: I have decided to paint the entire interior Sherman Williams Latte. Actually, I have decided to pay someone else to paint the entire interior. The crew that does the ceiling also paints. It occurred to me that it is only money and having it done so I can move into a fresh, clean home will make me very happy. And I can always make more money. Life is short. Hire painters.

I will take "before" pictures and hopefully some "during" ones, as well. I plan to pop in on the crew and be an annoying homeowner, making sure they don't screw up. I am sure they will love me for it. What does one bring to drywallers and painters? Beer? Pizza? One does want to be accommodating when pointing out they missed a spot.

Tags: home repairs, homeowner, painting

How Sheila Got Her Groove Back

Have I lost my blogging groove? Perhaps. Luckily for me, Darren at ProBlogger is hosting a non-project with no prizes called 7 Days to Rediscovering Your Blogging Groove. I inadvertently participated in Day One already. One down, seven six to go.

Now, I may not do them all in a row. I may not do them in order. In fact, I may not do them all. But in the spirit of "Geez, Sheila, could you talk about something else? We are totally bored with your new house," I hereby solicit questions for "Day 2 - Answer a Question." (No, no one has actually said they are bored. I just feel guilty. Though not guilty enough to stop inundating you with posts about my house. Heh.)

I could come up with a question on my own based on keywords and phrases people are using to find my blog but I do not think that is such a good idea. Here's why:

• hard pimples on my butt
• red bumps on butt
• bed bug bite vs pimple
• do bed bug bites get puss?
• tiny string of red bumps that itch
• sensitive big red bump on butt
• healthy ass

Um, yeah. The lesson I have learned is: do not share your stories and pictures about bumps in sensitive places or your fellow sufferers will find you. Not that that is a bad thing. If I saved one person from a panicked flight to the doctor to find out "What is this thing?", I consider my public humiliation worthwhile.

So, questions...got any? I am a CPA with a penchant for organizing who lives with cats, if that helps you come up with something I may actually have the ability to answer. I also own a Prius, have had Lasik eye surgery to correct my vision, had my tonsils out at 36 and a hysterectomy at 38. I do not promise to answer all of your questions but I do promise to give it a shot.

Please leave your question in the comments here or email me if you wish to remain anonymous. And thank you for playing.

Tags: blogging, question post

10 Things I Will Not Miss When I Move

Though I will miss many things when I move, these ain't them:

1. Dead things in the bedroom. I long for a morning without a 5:00am wake-up call via something dead - or worse, still struggling for life - in my bedroom. This morning it was a hummingbird. I find most regular birds to be a nuisance but a hummingbird? That just broke my heart.
   
2. Long commute. A long commute in the Central Valley is a 10-15 drive from Atwater to Merced, not 50 minutes from Fresno to Merced. Though my Prius is lovely and my discovery of audio books for my MP3 player makes the time fly, my new 2.5 mile commute is way better than 50.
   
3. Road construction. A month ago the City of Fresno decided to widen the main drag between my house and the freeway. A month ago my 50 minute one-way commute became 1 hour and 15 minutes. The new road will make getting to and from the freeway much faster and easier AFTER I MOVE AWAY. Bahhhhhstahds.
   
4. Parking constraints. I know it is a 3-car garage and I know it has a lot of space, but I will not miss squishing 2 cars into a space surrounded by "stuff." I am pretty sure my sis will be ecstatic to be able to park smack in the middle of the 2-car space with her mere 1 car after I am gone. "What? I can access the car from both sides? Get out of town!"
   
5. Washing machine queue. I will be able to do laundry any time I feel like it. Never again will I open the washing machine to find someone else thinks now is a great time to do laundry, too.
   
6. Guest bathroom status. I know it is silly, but I am looking forward to stumbling to the bathroom in the middle of the night without having to exit my bedroom. And in the morning? I can get ready for work totally in my underwear! I will not have to put on a robe to walk through the hall to my bathroom. (Forget the part where I will be living alone - at least initially - so no one will be there to see me walking the hallway. That is entirely beside the point.)
   
7. Cat throw up. I am sure the cat throw up will follow me but I am counting on there being less of it.
   
8. Dueling televisions. My sister and I have 4 TV's between the two of us. I will only have 2. Ah the blissful sound of silence.
   
9. Cutting up cardboard. My sister is the mail-order QUEEN. Now don't get me wrong, I, too, love pushing a button on my computer and having a package arrive at my door a few days later. I just don't do it quite as often as she does. Though I suspect I will be on cardboard cutting duty when I come down for visits.
   
   And the 10th and final thing I will not miss when I move:
   
10. That lovely aroma of cat pee. I do so hope it does not follow me. Even if it does, there is only one small area with carpet in my new house. The rest is Pergo flooring so will be easy to clean and sanitize. I do not think my 2 kitties are the offenders but then don't all parents think their children are angels?

Tags: 10 things, moving, homeowner