GetSheila

New Tax Season Masthead

The new masthead is up. Be gentle. It is tax season and I am so very tired.

I tried to put an ugly green accountant's visor on my avatar, like they used to wear in the olden days, but I could not find one that I could make work.

Alas, it is just me, the tax man, and my cocktail.

Hm...cocktail. Shouldn't I be babysitting or something?

Tags: masthead

Rest in Peace, Little Kitty

My sister's cat Baby Boy was put to sleep yesterday. He had been in advanced stage kidney failure for some time but lately his eyes were constantly dilated. Two weeks ago, the vet said dilated eyes indicate pain. (They thought he had, in addition to the kidney failure, a stomach ulcer.) But it turns out he was losing his vision so his eyes were dilating to try to let as much light in as possible.

Which explains the vocalization. Lately, he had started meowing for no apparent reason as he was walking down the hall. Now we know he was practically blind and was probably meowing in confusion when he couldn't figure out where he was.

I am actually relieved he was going blind. It makes me feel better to know he was not in constant pain like I thought those dilated eyes indicated. Of course I do not know that for sure, but I hope he wasn't.

When I took him to the vet yesterday to find out about the vocalizing, he had lost a full pound since his last appointment two weeks ago and was severely dehydrated, even with my sister giving him subcutaneous fluids daily. The vet said if we were ready to make the decision to put him to sleep she would have no argument.

And so it was.

Baby Boy is the reason my sister has cats. She never wanted to be a cat owner. She could never understand how I could live with eau de litter box and cat hair everywhere. Then along came Baby Boy. My sis lived in an apartment with a sliding glass patio door that faced the back fence of the complex. On the other side, a housing development had its own back fence, with just enough of a gap between the two fences for an army of stray cats to live. Baby Boy used to sit on her patio, staring in through the glass door.

I told her not to give in and feed him or she would be a cat owner, like it or not.

Of course she fed him.

When she moved from the apartment, she took the cats she had been able to befriend (and catch) with her and had them all spayed or neutered. When asked how many cats we have, I am only allowed to say, "We stopped counting after three."

Rest in peace, sweet Baby Boy, First Kitty and Leader of the Masses. We will miss you and your beating up on other kitties to the point where my sis had your front paws declawed to protect the innocent. We will miss you and the way you climb up onto the reclining form of a kitty twice your size and knead him with your clawless paws in what I assume is a relaxing kitty massage. We will miss you and the way you never go anywhere without your bestest kitty friends, Eddy and Tabby, like three peas in a little kitty pod.

We will miss you, Baby Boy.

Technorati Tags: baby boy, cats, death, grief, pet euthanasia, pet loss

To Be Or Not To Be...An M&M, That Is

I though it would be fun to create myself as an M&M, but it is actually a little frightening:

Some M&M friends of mine, including several complete strangers that make cute M&M's so I include them here, because I can, though I have no idea who they are really: Hsien | Arieanna | Maramie | Char | Kerri | Cory | Tris | Priyan | Kristen | Jason | Tammy | Martin | Perk
(I will continue to edit this list as more of you convert to chocolate with a crisp candy shell.)

Create your own M&M self and, if you post it, leave a link to it in the comments here so I can add you to my list of M&M friends. We could start our own gallery.

Hey, I wonder if there is a Flickr group...by golly there is!

Technorati Tags: m&m, charicature

365 Day Photo Project - Week 3

Don't Break Your Truck

1/22/2007: I don't know why this sign cracks me up. It just does.

Some days you just don't feel like eating healthy

1/23/2007: Mmm, Italian salami. First you heat it in the microwave so the edges get crispy. Then you dab it with paper towels to get as much of grease off. (Don't worry. There's still plenty left.) Then you put it on the most unhealthy bread you can find (preferably a white hoagie roll, which as you can see I was out of) along with mayo, american cheese, and onions. If you sit back and listen carefully, you can actually hear your arteries clogging.

Who Gets Chapped Hands?

1/24/2007: I put lotion on my hands because they were incredibly dry. I realized my mistake when the backs of my hands started burning. Apparently the calming properties of The Healing Garden Lavender Therapy do not apply to skin that, in fact, needs to be calmed. Pity.

Survival of the Citrus

1/25/2007: We had a big freeze in California's San Joaquin Valley. Citrus crops were lost but these showed up at the office one day. Not sure how they got out alive.

Da plane! Da plane!

1/26/2007: This airplane hull appeared on the side of the road near work one day. I have no idea why. It sits on church property. Maybe the pastor is a flier? Er, used to be?

Mani/Pedi Day

1/27/2007: Who doesn't love a good pedicure? The woman in the chair next to me kept talking about her vasectomy. I said to my manicurist before I left, 'So she used to be a man?' Er, no. Apparently she was saying M-as-T-ectomy. Girl needs to articulate better cuz I only ever heard one 'T' and she said it, like, three times.

It Takes a Lot of Work To Look This Pretty

1/28/2007: Sluuurp. Slurp slurp sluuuuurp.

You can see my full 365 Day Photo Project set at Flickr.

Oh, I MUST Teach My Kitties To Do THIS

From Cute Overload

Tags: cats

Meredith Vieira Sucks Ass and Let Me Tell You Why

If you watched the Today show Friday morning, you know why.

If you read Suburban Bliss, you know why.

If you read any of these blogs, you know why.

You still don't know? Really, do I have to tell you people everything? (All 42 of you?)

Alright, let me sum up:

Melissa Summers writes a blog called Suburban Bliss. (The martini with the pacifier in it is her logo.)

A few months ago, she was embroiled in the debate over Cocktail Playgroups. (Look away little Johnny, mommy is drinking WINE. The horror!)

As a result of that involvement, she was invited to Today for what was to be "a lighthearted romp" but was instead a study in one-sided journalism.

Meredith Vieira interviewed Melissa along with Janet Taylor, a corporate stress management coach who thinks drinking to relax sends the wrong message to children. Well fine, that is her opinion. The problem is she kept repeating the same statement over and over again in obvious confusion between staying on message and rote repetition. Not only was it annoying, it did not convince me in the least that drinking alcohol in front of children is a bad thing.

The part where she is okay with moms AND dads drinking alcohol at backyard BBQs may have something to do with my dismissal of her condemnation of mom-only gatherings. I wonder what she would say about a father-son outing to a baseball game where dad orders a bucket of beer.

My problem with Meredith Vieira is this: real journalists ask hard questions, not stupidly irrelevant questions that do not further the discussion. For example: What's the difference between a group of babysitters getting together and drinking alcohol while they oversee their charges versus a group of mothers getting together for playgroup and having wine with their goat cheese salad? What's the difference? Yes, she actually asked that.

See the video for Melissa's response. (Total length is about 7 minutes. Melissa's segment starts at 2:37.) And while you are watching, take note of Meredith's facial expressions. Is it just me or does she look like an ad for constipation*? (Meow)

_________________

*Props to Erma Bombeck for that line. May [insert deity of choice] have mercy on her hilarious soul.

Photo: Suburban Bliss at Cafepress.com

Tags: meredith vieira sucks, momtini, suburban bliss on today, cocktail playgroups

Survey Says: Dedicated Reader

Oooh, a quiz just for readers:

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader   You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more.
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Literate Good Citizen
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

via Cottontimer

Technorati Tags: reading, quiz

What do you do when your husband is an ass?

A friend of mine had a birthday recently. Her husband wanted so badly to throw her a surprise party. And, in fact, badly is how he did it.

It started out well. He contacted her dearest friends and arranged for them to meet at a fancy restaurant the night of her birthday. He even arranged for her brother to come in from out of town.

But then, in what I can only assume was a bout of temporary insanity, he decided it would be a great idea to pretend he forgot her birthday. In fact, why not tell her she is selfish for expecting presents on her birthday? Yeah. And start the day off right by not wishing her happy birthday. Follow that with the statement that you cannot afford to go out to a nice restaurant to celebrate so you are going to dinner at mom's house instead. His mom, not hers.

Top it all off with her at home sobbing all afternoon while he is at work, oblivious that he has crushed her feelings and ruined her birthday.

Don't worry. The birthday celebration was salvaged when one of her friends called mid-sob and found out what he had done. All the friends knew it was a surprise but knew nothing about the emotional torture aspect. The friend called the husband and made him fess up. The surprise dinner turned out not to be a surprise after all, but at least she got to have some enjoyment at the end of her birthday. And everyone at dinner ripped on him for being such an idiot, so she got to enjoy that too.

Do you have any surprise party horror stories?

Tags: birthday horror story

Proof D.C. is the Home of Satan

Did you hear? The U.S. tax filing deadline has been extended an extra day to Tuesday, April 17th. Why? Because the District of Columbia declared Monday, April 16th, a holiday. The Monday to which the deadline has already been extended because the real April 15th deadline falls on a weekend.

Now before you ask what the bejeebus D.C.'s holiday has to do with the rest of the country, I will tell you: "Under a federal statute enacted decades ago, holidays observed in the District of Columbia have impact nationwide on tax issues, not just in D.C."

Does D.C. realize its decision to commemorate Abraham Lincoln signing a bill outlawing slavery in D.C. in 1962 forces accountants across the nation to spend an extra day slaving at their desk for the tax man? Does D.C. care?

You think this is good news because now you have an extra day to file your taxes, don't you? DON'T YOU?

(Via Roth&Co)

Tags: taxes, tax filing deadline, tax season

Laws of Lotion

Why is it that just when I apply lotion to my hands, something happens to require I wash them?

• The cat comes in. Everyone knows you have to formally greet the cat with much praise and stroking. And apparently Cat Rule #1 is, "Always roll in dirt before coming inside."
• An olive pit goes into the garbage disposal and I have to stick my hand down the scary hole to get it out, all the while thinking it could kick on at any moment due to a fluke electrical short.
• I remember the garbage and recycling were picked up earlier and I should return the cans to the backyard before 1) it gets dark, 2) it gets colder, and 3) I forget to do it altogether and the neighbors whisper about us behind our backs for leaving our cans out past Can Curfew.

All that moisture-rich, lavender-smelling goodness down the drain.

 

Tags: lotion