GetSheila

Extreme Pumpkins - A Love Story

Tom Nardone loves to carve pumpkins.

There is PUKING PUMPKIN:

GUNSHOT WOUND PUMPKIN:

And PUMPKIN ON FIRE!

Plus a whole lot more. Check them out:

2003 contest winners
2004 content winners
2005 content winners

I can't wait to see the 2006 winners!

Happy Halloween, my pyromaniacal friends.

Tags: halloween, jack-o-lanterns, pumpkins, extreme pumpkins

GetSheila Community on MyBlogLog.com

Okay kids, Jay over at The Zero Boss convinced me to drink the Kook-Aid and now I am mixing up a batch of my own.

GetSheila has its own community over at MyBlogLog. What does this mean? I have no idea, really.

If you sign up over there, the only thing you will see differently over here at GetSheila is your picture next to any comment you leave. Or a question mark avatar, if you choose not to upload a picture to MyBlogLog. In fact, my own comments show with a question mark avatar. Perhaps because I log in to TypePad to leave comments?

Did I mention I have no idea how this works?

It is all brand new and still in its original wrapper. It feels a bit like a new and improved MySpace ... without all the flashy, blinky crap and high school mentalities.

Here is my understanding of how it works. You can join MyBlogLog without joining any of the MyBlogLog communities, but the communities are what make it fun and social. When you join a community, your avatar shows up on the community page along with everyone else's who has joined that community. You can see other people's communities as well as communities associated with the one you have joined, making it easy to find new content similar to stuff you already like.

Now let's say you are passive and cannot be bothered to manually join communities that interest you. No problem! MyBlogLog adds you automatically after so many visits, with you choosing the "so many" number. The default is 10, but there are several other options up to 100 (including "None.")

Example: If you use the default and do not join my community manually, you will be added to it automatically after you visit it 10 times. (That is, visiting the community over at MyBlogLog, not visiting my GetSheila blog site.) Don't want Uncle MyBlogLog adding you to communities willy-nilly? Choose the "None" option. You can still join communities, it just won't add you to any automatically. (Like maybe you don't want to formally join that porn community you visit 5 times a day.)

So, gentle reader, please join if you feel so inclined but do not feel obligated. It is perfectly okay to remain an anonymous lurker or a commenter who doesn't need no stinkin' avatar.

Oh, and don't forget to join The Zero Boss community, too.

Technorati Tags: mybloglog

Little Old Lady Smackdown

Okay, no one got smacked and nobody actually went down but boy did I miss the excitement last Thursday night.

It was Ladies Night at the Itlo, the local Italian American Lodge, a banquet hall in a town of 75,000 that hosts weddings, fundraisers, and all sorts of local events. You don't have to be Italian to attend Ladies Night at the Itlo, you just have to buy a ticket and be female.

My friend Anna* has been going to Ladies Night with her little old gray haired landlady, Belle, for about a year now. What I adore about Anna is her genuine interest in her fellow man. She loves meeting people and finding out what they are all about. She thrives on helping people, especially the old ones who perhaps cannot get around the way they used to but might not feel comfortable asking for help. With Anna they don't have to. She is simply there with whatever they need. In this case, a ride to the Itlo on Ladies Night.

What started as a small event attended mainly by little old Italian ladies is now THE premiere ladies event at which to see and be seen. It only comes around every three months, however, so it is packed to the gills. Seating is a Big Deal. Although technically "first come, first serve," the ladies who lunch (or in this case, dinner) are up at the crack of dawn and down at the hall peeing on their chairs. (Actually, they turn their paper plates over and write their names on the back, but really...it amounts to the same thing.)

Anna had a large group to coordinate this time so she got to the Itlo at 8:05am and marked her territory by using a fat marker to draw a squiggly line down one side of the table and up the other. In the center, she wrote the company name in big letters the length of the table in front of the dozen or so chairs she had marked off. Dinner is at 6:30pm yet over half the tables were already marked off when Anna arrived at 8:05am. Oh yes, seating is a Very Big Deal.

The first of Anna's group to arrive that night, Kim and her sister, discover a group of little old ladies has co-opted five of their seats. Kim says in surprise to her sister, "Oh, they are sitting in our seats." This, of course, is loud enough for the ladies to hear but she receives no response. Now if they had made a mistake and did not realize the seats were saved, this was their opportunity to make embarrassed exclamations and get up and move.

Not a budge. Not a one of 'em. Not even an acknowledgement.

And Kim knew two of the squatters personally! One had been a big-shot realtor (maybe still is) and the other is the wife of a local politician. So not only have these ladies been around long enough to learn proper manners (they are 70 if they are a day), but at least two of them are well aware of the business and political importance of social graces.

I can only imagine they think they are higher on the food chain than the company whose name is scribbled in front of their plates. Higher = more important = no one will dare call them on it, I suppose. It is funny they did not choose any of the saved yet empty seats at the other end of the table. Seats claimed by Important People. No, they chose the seats claimed by unimportant people that butted up against the seats claimed by Important People. Hm.

Technorati Tags: altercation, grumpy grannies, itlo, ladies night

Birthdays Are Overrated

Yes? No? Please discuss.

Tags: birthday

Hooray For Me - I Am Still Alive

Today is my birthday, nana-nana-NANA-na.

The na-na-naing is supposed to represent the music after the first line in The Beatles' Birthday song. No? Not doing anything for ya'? TOUGH. It's my birthday. A whole day where I don't have to give a crap what anyone else thinks. So there.

Hee hee!

I am 42 years young today. Why is it some people are afraid to say how old they are? I don't get that. You are what you are. Is it because there is a stigma associated with aging in this country? In the world? Sad.

I do have regrets. Hell, I'm human. I regret that I have not taken better care of my body, yet even that buys into the stereotype of perfection prevalent in today's society. So my boobs sag, as does my bottom. So I have flabby upper arms in place of the toned ones I desire. So certain poses result in two chins where only one should be.

So what?

I am alive. I am healthy. I have full use of my limbs and can walk great distances, should I so desire. My teeth are in good shape and I have all my fingers and toes. What more can one ask?

God is good. (If there is one.)

Happy Birthday to me.

Tags: birthday, aging

Your Favorite Halloween Tradition

POLL RESULTS: Handing out candy comes in dead last. It is rather tedious, isn't it? My sister likes to see all the little ones in their tiny costumes but it seems like we don't get many young ones any more. The trick-or-treaters are older and, though I cannot be certain, I think they are bussed-in to our neighborhood.

Well maybe not bussed, but definitely vanned and SUV'd. They show up at our door in large groups, then pile into their respective getaway vehicles when they reach the end of our street. They are either headed off to plunder another neighborhood or home to count the booty. I find it rather depressing.

My favorite tradition is not listed in the poll, and that would be eating chocolate for weeks after Halloween. I still do it. I just buy the chocolate myself now instead of begging from strangers.

What is your favorite Halloween tradition?

Technorati Tags: halloween, poll results

Fame At Last

If you Google "Hard red bump on butt," I am the fourth link listed.

I am famous. FAMOUS I TELL YOU.

 

Technorati Tags: fame, buttiquette

Porn for Pilots

I found this photo in my feedreader for posts on, of all things, Jake Weber. I cannot tell you what the post is really about because it is in Russian. (At least I think it's Russian.) I can only assume it is a gushy post from someone who likes both Jake Weber and airplanes.

What I want to know is this: do airplane lovers find this photo as exciting as a straight man would find a photo of say, Jennifer Lopez' butt?

Anyone?

Tags: airplanes, jennifer lopez, jennifer lopez butt

The Absentee Ballot - A Busy Girl's Best Friend

I voted today.

Big Whoop, right? It is for me. I have been registered as an absentee voter for, gosh, ten years now? And I cannot remember the last time I voted. I have definitely voted during those ten years, just not lately. The last time I actually cared about an election I was sadly disappointed:

Waitress: Are you American? Me: Yes. Waitress: Who is your new president? Me: I have no idea.

This conversation took place in a Paris café one week after election day 2000. Goddamn Florida. To say I hate politics and politicians would be like saying Hurricane Katrina was a blustery day.

But...

I know it is important for women to get off their asses and vote. The beauty of it is you can do it FROM your ass. I thought it might be too late to request an absent voter ballot for the November 7, 2006 election, but the deadline in California is October 31st. There's still time! If you are not in California, Google "absentee ballot" followed by the name of your state for your absentee ballot rules.

If you are male and still reading at this point, um, hi! I am not trying to exclude you. Well, I am, but not for the reasons you may think. As Lisa Stone points out in Go register to vote, you sexy thing, you, women are the voting majority (and have been since 1964 - who knew!) but they are not the majority when it comes to actually getting out there and voting.

To encourage anyone (vagina not required) to vote, Lisa Stone includes the following links:

Online Voter Registration. You need only your zip code and state. Voters' Guides and Candidate Info (nonpartisan). Unfortunately not every state is listed. Factcheck.org. Nonpartisan research into the latest headlines and campaign ads. Election 2006: Candidates & Information database. Research initiatives, propositions and political offices up for a vote in your state. Lisa's Note: This site has one of the most comprehensive databases I've seen, but their analyses reflect a progressive agenda.

If you prefer to go down to the polls on election day, by all means do that. I know many people who enjoy the social aspect of going to the polls and the tactile feeling of flipping the switches or depressing the buttons or whatever it is you do inside that tiny booth. Just be sure to follow zefrank's advice: don't confuse the curtained voting booth with a changing room and drop your pants.

Tags: election 2006, women voters, vote

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda

Today I should:

• Do 40 hours of self-study continuing professional education needed by Thursday to renew my CPA license for another two years;
• Shop for clothes (You have seen my wardrobe. You know the direness of my need.)
• Wash my hair;
• Change my bed sheets;
• Inject my cat with subcutaneous fluids to keep her hydrated, which I am supposed to do every other day but often "forget" in response to my fear that I will poke something I'm not supposed to and my feelings of guilt when she cries and tries to get away;
• Buy kitty litter;
• Hook up my sister's new DVD/VCR combo to her bedroom TV but she also has a Comcast DVR and they were out of manuals telling you how to hook things up to it and it isn't as easy as the regular Comcast digital cable box but I tried anyway last night and could not get the sound to work and it should not be this hard!
• Update my Amazon Wish List so my family knows what to buy me for my ohmygod-when-did-I-pass-forty second birthday this Thursday because we, as a family, are incapable of making a decision on our own for fear of choosing a gift that is unacceptable and thereby humiliating ourselves and damaging the tenuous familial relationship for all time;
• Break down all those cardboard boxes in the garage and cut them into 1' x 1' squares so as not to anger the recycling gods;
• Clean out my belly button lint and remove excess hair from places people do not like to see it on a woman.

Today I am:

• Eating bon-bons and watching DVD's.

_______________

P.S. I cannot in good conscience use the title of this post without crediting Mir at Woulda Coulda Shoulda. She is fabulous.

Tags: procrastination