What has parade floats, marching bands, celebrity Grand Marshals, and Dykes on Bikes?
The 2006 San Francisco Gay Pride Parade, of course. The parade is held the last Sunday in June every year. My friend Micky went last year and said it was a hoot! Micky is a people-watcher from way back, so when I found out she was going again this year, of course I tagged along. In addition to two gawking adults, our party included Micky's teenage daughter Liz and Liz's pal Eric.
We drove to Pleasanton, fortifying ourselves at Starbucks along the way, then took BART into the City. Isn't BART just the best? Not only do you avoid driving, and all the fatigue and distraction that goes along with it, but you also get to watch and listen to complete strangers. If you're not a people-watcher, you have no idea what I'm talking about. If you are, isn't it cool when it's bright outside so you can wear your sunglasses and openly stare at people without consequence?
We exited the Embarcadero BART station right on time for the 10:30 kickoff by Dykes on Bikes. Great opening to the parade! They get everyone all excited and silly with their loud motorcycles, leather, and...ahem...costumes. The highlight of our day occurred when one of the parade transvestites took Eric in an inescapable embrace and French-kissed his right ear. It was fascinating and gross all at the same. I just stood there with my mouth open, camera all but forgotten. (Damn that would have been a great shot!) Liz gave an "oh this is icky!" kind of teenager scream and I thought Micky was going to pee her pants she was laughing so hard. Then the trannie was gone just as quickly as he had arrived, Eric wiped the cooties off his ear, and we went on with our day. He's a good egg, that Eric.
I saw a few celebrities: Jennifer Beals, Elvira, Honey Labrador (No, not a porn star. She is the lesbian among three gay men on Queer Eye for a Straight Girl.), and that tiny little actor who played Karen's nemesis on Will & Grace. Ooh, so close to glamour!
All in all, the day was a complete success. Not only did we have a good time, but we all learned something too. I learned that it's okay to reach out and help your fellow man when I saw Micky ask a homeless man if he was hungry, then buy him a couple of burgers. Micky learned that no matter how persistent you are, the young ones always get more beads. Liz learned creepy old men can be found everywhere, including BART. And Eric learned not to stand so close to the parade barricade when trannies are passing by.

